Tag: Humor

British Parliament Forms July 4 Commission To Investigate Colonial Insurrection

LONDON — The British parliament has convened for an emergency session to investigate the events of July 4th, 1776 in the colonies across the Atlantic. Sources indicate an illegal insurrection took place there that cost many lives.

 

“Blimey! These cheeky colonists are quite literally — and I’m LITERALLY not exaggerating here — an existential threat to democracy!” said MP Peasley Peckinposh III to a chorus of “hear hears.”

Prime Minister Boris Johnson has directed the House of Commons and the House of Lords to form a committee that will hold televised hearings on the matter every night for at least 100 fortnights. “We have to get to the bottom of this and find out what these dodgy Americans are up to,” he said.

The commission is already prepared to read the 250-year-old testimony of an American defector who claims George Washington grabbed the reigns of his horse and assaulted him on his way to Independence Hall in Philadelphia.

The commission has also sent subpoenas to thousands of Americans who promptly dumped them in Boston Harbor.

(Oh, not a bit true. Sorry, had to get your attention somehow.)

Happy Independence Day

 

Humor from The Babylon Bee.

 

Need a Laugh ?

Couple Wakes Up To Find A Moose Going For A Swim In Their Backyard

© Paul Koch

“The best thing that happened was that after three and a half hours she climbed out of the shallow end and jumped over the fence,” Paul Koch said. “The police came back and told me that she got back to the wooded area that she had come from.”

The moose escaped unscratched, but the same can’t be said for Koch’s pool — which now has two hoof-sized holes in the bottom.

The moose was said to exclaim, “Sorry bout that” as she hoofed out of the area !

People Are Photoshopping Their Cats’ Faces onto Bees

 

Sure, necessity is the mother of invention. But boredom will do in a pinch.

Case in point: People are spending their suddenly abundant free time on a wildly innovative new art form.  Photoshopping their cats’ faces onto the bodies of bees.

Why? Why not.

The trend appears to have been started the other day.

For no particular reason, she decided to Photoshop a few cat/bee hybrid pics of her cat Millie.

 

© Jessy Hanczaryk

Hanczaryk was so amused by her creation that she shared them with her brother. He, in turn, posted them to Reddit.

The pics were a hit — and they soon began spreading across social media like a swarm.

“I saw someone posted them on Facebook and someone else posted them on Instagram!” Hanczaryk told The Dodo. “I honestly had no idea that people would like them so much.”

Having nothing better to do has never been so weirdly productive.:

Article by Stephen Messenger