Pinkvilla offers two formulas for making your own thickening hair mask with coffee.
For the first, blend three tablespoons of coffee grounds with one tablespoon each of almond oil and aloe vera gel.
Or, try blending three tablespoons of grounds with one tablespoon of coconut oil and one tablespoon of unsweetened yogurt.
The outlet suggests allowing your all-natural hair and scalp mask to sit for 20 minutes before washing.
Is it just us—or does this sounds like an at-home summer beauty recipe worth trying?!
Source: eatthis,notthat.com One Surprising Effect Coffee Has on Your Hair, According to a Dermatologist | Eat This Not That
This is a story about emotional intelligence and getting what you want. It’s the kind of practical advice you’ll find in my free ebook, Improving Emotional Intelligence 2021, which you can download here for free.
The techniques we’ll be talking about have to do with negotiating, but they apply in many other aspects of life, too. The principles carry over into almost every interaction that you have with other people.
Really, there are five key principles or rules, each based on a principle of emotional intelligence. If you keep them in mind, you’ll find you’re more likely to see positive outcomes.
Rule Number 1: Never skip the small talk.
I feel like this is one we’re all going to have to work on after the pandemic.
But people who have the emotional intelligence to be patient, and develop a rapport over things that aren’t critical to the conversation — in other words, engage in small talk — are far more likely to get what they want.
You don’t just have to take my word for this one. A study at the Stanford Graduate School of Businesses involved setting up some negotiators who conducted most of their discussions over email, and others who began with a friendly, non-agenda phone call to develop rapport ahead of time.
Since I’m citing it as support, you’ll likely guess the result:
“Even though the telephone conversation was strictly non-business, schmoozing negotiators anticipated and planned a cooperative, positive negotiation experience from the outset, and they attained better economic and social outcomes.”
Why does it work? Well, I’ve written before about the difference between parallel response convergent responses during conversations. In short:
- Parallel responses are ones that suggest that you believe your process of achieving empathy is complete, on the basis of something else you’ve brought to the interaction (often, past experience).
- Convergent responses suggest that you believe the process of achieving empathy is incomplete, but that you want to work to make it complete (by continuing the discussion and learning more about the other person’s point of view).
To use an example, imagine that an employee confides that they had a very hard time coping with work during the pandemic.
- A parallel response might be something like: “I’ve had a hard time too. I understand exactly.”
- A more convergent response? Maybe: “I’ve had a hard time too. Tell me more about what’s been going on.”
One theory about why small talk becomes important in negotiations (big or small), is that they’re an exercise in attempting to reach convergence.
The more convergent your small talk is, the less awkward it will feel, and the more rapport you’ll build. Emotionally intelligent people know to work on it — and never, ever to skip it.
Rule Number 2: Envision the other side’s emotional motivations.
Start by thinking through what you imagine the people you’re dealing with would like to see as an outcome, and then imagine what their emotional motivation for wanting that outcome might be.
In a business negotiation, the other side might want you to offer a product at a particular price.
They might want this because it makes good business sense, but they might also want it because they want to avoid the feeling of being taken advantage of. Or, they might want the pride of knowing that they got a better deal than their competitors.
In a personal conversation, friends might have ideas about where to go to dinner together.
They might want to suggest a particular place (or avoid making any suggestions at all) because they want a certain kind of food. But, they might also be motivated emotionally by a desire to feel like their suggestions are taken seriously.
Either way, people are sometimes motivated by a root emotional goal as much as their practical goal. That emotionally intelligent realization on your part might easily affect how you decide to play it.
Bonus points: Examine your own emotional motivation. Will advocating for the practical thing you thought you wanted really help you get there?
Rule Number 3: Use the first person plural.
Whenever you can, say “we” instead of “I.”
Obviously, don’t just plug it in willy-nilly.
But, if you find yourself talking about yourself, change the context so that “we” makes more sense.
- Not: “I really want us to reach an agreement tonight,” if you can instead say: “We should hopefully be able to reach an agreement.”
- Not: “I want Thai food tonight,” but instead: “Oh, we could try that new Thai restaurant that just opened!”
“Highlight what you have in common,” Carolyn O’Hara wrote in Harvard Business Review. “Using ‘we’ rather than ‘I’ signals to the other side that there are areas of agreement and that you envision a future working together.”
This is really a very small change that takes only a brief moment of thought to incorporate. People with high emotional intelligence understand why it’s worth it.
Rule Number 4: Figure out if the other side actually can reach an agreement.
Another way to put this is: Don’t waste your time, and don’t waste the other person’s time.
More negotiations fall apart at the end because one side suddenly announces that they don’t actually have the authority to reach an agreement, than for any other reason.
Sometimes, you realize that this has been true throughout the conversation. Sometimes, terms have changed. Sometimes, it’s just an excuse.
In that last case, at least you know no agreement is going to be forthcoming.
Lest we make this sound too much like a pure business context rule, it works in social situations, too.
To use a slightly self-deprecating example, when I was in high school and really hoped I could convince a girl to go out with me, if she only wanted to date varsity football players, then she was only going to date football players.
It didn’t matter if I suggested Friday or Saturday, or where I suggested we go.
The emotional intelligence piece here is as much about you as it is about the other side. Don’t allow the fact that they won’t agree no matter what to leave you feeling hurt.
“Yes” wasn’t going to happen, no matter what you did. It’s not you; it’s them. (No, seriously.)
Rule Number 5: Use your codewords.
This is my favorite rule on the list. I warn you: some might call it passive-aggressive.
But let me defuse that by saying up front, as un-passively-aggressively as possible, by stating quite clearly that they’re dead wrong.
You won’t find this rule in any business school case study; in fact, it’s something I learned when my daughter was just 3 years old, and I was taking her to church with my father-in-law.
I told her as we went inside that she had to remember to be good, not just because we were going into a church where people often have to be quiet, but also because her grandfather — my father-in-law — really needed peace and quiet for this one hour.
And I also told her that we should come up with a codeword together, so that if I said it, she’d remember she had to be quiet and sit still, and it would be our secret little joke.
I let her pick the word. She chose “broccoli.” It worked.
Every time she got a little worked up, I’d whisper “broccoli” with a smile, and she’d chuckle a bit before calming down.
It’s not just for negotiating with 3-year-olds, though. Create codewords for the others on your side.
Example: “If I use the phrase, ‘peel the onion,’ stay quiet and don’t say a word until we make the other side talk first.”
Look, emotional intelligence has gotten a bad rap lately, but to my mind, it’s like anything else: a set of tools and a mode of thinking that you can use to train yourself to react in ways that make it more likely you’ll get what you want out of life.
It’s really about recognizing that people have disparate motivations for the same things and that they often don’t even recognize their emotional motivations.
If you can start paying attention to them closely — both in yourself and in other people — it gives you a big advantage.
Start with these five rules, and see if they don’t improve your outcomes. And while you’re at it, download the free ebook, Improving Emotional Intelligence 2021, with all kinds of good, practical advice.
Article by Bill Murphy Jr. for INC.©
While not all of the hyped-up benefits of drinking lemon water have actual science behind them, lemons and their juice can balance and heal you in a number of ways, says Laura Neville, N.D., a naturopathic physician based in Portland, OR. Here are 5 potential benefits of drinking a bracing cup of lemon water, plus a few other ways to get the tart goodness from that bright-yellow burst of vitamin C.
© dima sidelnikov – Getty Images
1. It stabilizes your appetite.
Lemon water can prevent spikes in hunger thanks to its blood-sugar-balancing pectin (a type of soluble fiber) and hydrating mojo, says Neville. If you’re still snacky after a meal, mix 1 cup of warm water with the juice of 1/2 lemon and a pinch of lemon zest (feel free to add a drizzle of honey).
2. It revs up your energy.
Two types of vitamins give lemons pick-me-up power. Their vitamin C increases absorption of iron—helpful, since having too little can cause fatigue. B vitamins in lemons also assist with energy production, says Neville. Blend one sliced lemon (including the peel; add a little water if needed), then freeze in an ice cube tray. Toss into water for a quick refresher or into a smoothie filled with iron-rich kale.
3. It protects your cells.
Lemon boasts more vitamin C than OJ, and all that C power is a potent antioxidant, counteracting cell damage that accumulates over time and may even be a factor in problems like cancer and heart disease. Vitamin C also plays a role in synthesizing collagen, which helps cuts and scrapes heal faster. If you’re tired of drinking lemon water, cook it into a tasty side dish by stirring lemon juice, olive oil, and sliced scallions into cooked quinoa.
4. It controls bloating.
Lemon water may aid digestion and cut down on bloat. The citric acid in lemons can supplement your natural stomach acids to help you break down food. Lemon water is also a decent source of potassium, a mineral that helps keep sodium levels in check, potentially reducing any salt-induced bloating.
5. It kicks kidney stones to the curb.
Drink the juice of 2 lemons diluted in water every day, and you can reduce your risk of kidney stones. Citrine, a salt in citric acid, binds to calcium, helping block the formation of the dreaded stones. In fact, chronic kidney stones are often treated with potassium citrate, but studies have shown that lemon can do the job just as well.
Article by Marisa Cohen doe delish©
When you go to the grocery store, it’s tempting to drop a little more cash on those little convenient items. Why buy whole apples when you can buy prepackaged sliced fruit? Who wants to make their own salad dressing when it’s already bottled? These things may be cheap and easy time-savers, but consider the larger scheme of things.
There are some items at the store that you should skip buying entirely, whether it’s to save some money, reap the health benefits, or to do your part when it comes to saving the environment. The next time you run to the store and feel tempted to buy some of these things, think twice about putting them in your cart.
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It might be far easier to go ahead and pick up your medications while doing your weekly shopping, but grocery stores charge higher premiums for even the most common prescription drugs. If you find you’re routinely paying more out of pocket, you might want to find a dedicated pharmacy.
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It’s far easier (and cheaper) to prepare your own dressings for those nutritious salads that you’re making yourself. Plus, you’re ditching all the added fat, sugar, and calories that come in the bottled brands, which essentially make eating salads in the first place a waste of time.
© Getty Images
Shampoo, soap, and other toiletries
If you must stock up on personal care items, it’s best to skip the grocery store unless you want to pay twice as much for smaller sizes. Grab your toiletries and other necessities at big-box department stores to pile on the savings.
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Most grocery stores are stocked with pet food you can give to your furry best friends, but it typically isn’t the high-quality chow you might expect. Your best bet would be to pick up your typical brand from the pet store so you don’t upset your pup’s tummy with lower-quality food.
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Like many other non-food items in the grocery store, batteries are overpriced — and they’re also not available in bulk, so you’re paying more and getting less. Instead of grabbing batteries when food shopping, buy them at a warehouse store where you can get them in bulk, or order them from Amazon for a better price.
Get the whole story by clicking on the source link below.
Article by Brittany Vincent for House Beautiful
Exploring the history of the States
America may be a relatively young nation but it has a diverse and complex history – one which is retold through monuments across the country. From tributes to indigenous peoples to incredible feats of engineering, here are 50 of the most important landmarks across the US.
© Pavel L Photo and Video/Shutterstock
National September 11 Memorial and Museum, New York City, New York
This moving tribute to the victims of the 9/11 terror attacks is built where the World Trade Center’s twin towers once stood. Waterfalls cascade into vast pools, the walls of which are inscribed with the names of those who died in 2001. More than 400 swamp white oaks trees, selected for their resilience, surround the pools, creating a serene place of reflection in the Big Apple.
© Sean Pavone/Shutterstock
Independence Hall, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
This elegant red-brick building in the City of Brotherly Love holds great historical significance. The Declaration of Independence – the document that freed the States from British rule – was debated and signed here in 1776, and the hall later became the birthplace of the US Constitution. Indoor visits are temporarily suspended; check the NPS website for updates.
Alcatraz Island, San Francisco, California
The stark expanse of Alcatraz Island was originally used as a military jail and later became a high-security prison. Inmates at The Rock, as the prison was known, were subjected to brute force and complete isolation on a daily basis. Al Capone, a Brooklyn mobster convicted of tax evasion, was one of the prison’s most high-profile detainees, serving time between 1934–39.
Pearl Harbor National Memorial, Honolulu, Oahu, Hawaii
Pearl Harbor, a US naval base on the Hawaiian isle of Oahu, was the site of a surprise attack by the Japanese in 1941, during the Second World War, and museums and monuments here memorialize the tragic event. A key sight is the USS Arizona Memorial, a tribute to one of the ships that was sunk during the strike. The head-turning white structure is built above the vessel’s wreckage.
© South Carolina Tourism
Fort Sumter, Charleston, South Carolina
In 1861, the first shots of the bloody American Civil War were fired from Fort Sumter, a garrison with a strategic position at the mouth of Charleston Harbor. It played a key role throughout the conflict and the immaculately preserved fort ruins remain today. Guided tours of the historic site, which is accessible only by boat, are usually available, but check the NPS website for current details.
To see more landmarks, click the source below.
Article by Jacqui Agate