Category: Stress Relief

How to Live in Tune with the Seasons

Observe the Seasonal Changes Around You

The first step in living seasonally is paying attention to the nature around you. Watch for the colors, textures, and sounds that define each season. Notice the shift in the quality of light during the day or the smell of the air at different times of the year.

The visible and measurable changes in weather and hours of daylight precipitate psychological changes. Each season brings a different kind of awareness. The way the air feels on my skin, the angle of light striking my eyes as the Sun moves across the sky, and the sensations of the ground underfoot as I walk or kneel all affect my thinking, my hoping and dreaming, and the way I put words together and go about solving problems.

To connect further, keep a nature journal to record what you observe. A simple leather-bound notebook is a beautiful way to track your seasonal reflections through poems or collages and develop a deeper awareness of the world around you.

Since many of us live by the clock today, it’s easy to forget that we live in a world of natural seasons and seasonal change. What if we were more in tune with the age-old rhythms of the seasons? There’s much research that shows we would live a healthier, happier, and more productive life. Here is a tip on how to live seasonally—in your garden.

The Gardening season

Every main season in a four-season climate contains many microseasons of varying length. They arise and die continuously throughout the calendar year, sometimes overlapping, often coinciding, in some years never occurring at all. For example:

  • Late March and early April bring seed-starting season, dandelion season, and mud season …
  • These ease gradually into the forsythia, volunteer lettuce, and lilac seasons …
  • And then on into the strawberries, peas, lamb’s-quarters, and asparagus seasons …
  • Until we reach the August–September blowout: broccoli, green beans, tomatoes, peppers, eggplants, summer squash, and corn seasons …
  • And then we move under blankets with carrots, beets, and root vegetables that we roast, along with warm boiled soups, stews, and broths made with winter cooking greens, plus preserved and fermented jars of food, dried dates and fruits, and lots of nuts that give us heat and energy.

 

Tips to Live in Tune with the Seasons

By living seasonally, I mean fully inhabiting your natural environment and letting your environment inhabit you. You can live seasonally even in urban settings, even if you spend your working hours in an office cubicle without windows.

“Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influence of the earth.”
― Henry David Thoreau, American writer (1817–62), in Walden

How to live seasonally? Here are a few ideas.

  1. Get out more, and pay attention when you do. Get curious about what’s happening in the natural world. Notice what’s new or changed since the last time you ventured out.
  2. Make yourself go out in all kinds of weather. (Okay, do avoid thunderstorms and extreme weather.) As the need arises, get some serviceable outdoor gear.  Think rain gear, a wind-resistant jacket and pants, sweat-wicking shorts, T-shirts for summer, and thermal long johns for the colder months.  Also hats, mittens, and treaded boots. If you live in snow country, put some lightweight snowshoes and trekking poles on your gift list. Add a bike (speedy for commuting or just an old beater for jaunting around) if you don’t have one.
  3. Buy or borrow wild and cultivated plant guides and learn how to use the identifier keys that they contain. Look at the weeds that grow from cracks in the asphalt, along the roadsides, or along the woodland path. Identify the aromatic flowers and shrubs that grow in a neighbor’s yard. Notice the insects that flutter around this or that plant. Friend or foe?
  4. If you’re really adventurous, get insect, bird, and other nature guides, too. Identify which pollinator species is buzzing around inside that squash blossom, or which mammal left that pile of scat at the edge of the field. What bird species made that perfect, tiny nest in the lilac bush outside the town library? What kinds of fallen leaves are these?

The Benefits of Seasonal Living

  • If you get out more often to explore your surroundings, you’ll get more exercise, which is always a good thing. Taking a lunchtime walk, even on an overcast day, does wonders for recharging your mental batteries and sharpening your mind, as well as burning a few calories.
  • If you choose to learn more about the plants and animals that share the space around you, you’ll expand your knowledge, maybe even your wisdom. Your interior world will become broader, deeper, and more diverse.
  • You may find new friends out exploring the same terrain. This, in turn, may lead to planning more extensive joint adventures. New relationships formed around similar interests can increase your emotional well-being.
  • As you notice and learn more about your local environment, you may start to care more about it and understand how humans’ impact other living creatures. People simply don’t take care of what they don’t know and embody.

Celebrate the Seasons with Traditions

More seasons? More celebrations! To my way of looking at it, every season, particularly if it involves a lot of hard work, deserves a holiday.

  • Depressingly long mud season? Plan a “mudluck” dessert social, where everybody brings their gooiest dark chocolate confection.
  • Harvest season winding down? Time to celebrate with an evening of Halloween pumpkin carving.

You get the idea. Go ahead. Name your private seasons—and celebrate one today!

Source: almanac.com©

Need a Friend, How to Become One

 

 

Think about your best friend. What makes them your best friend; the friend above all others? Maybe you have several best friends. In childhood, it might have seemed easier to make friends, but in adulthood, it can feel quite difficult at times. I once asked a young client what made her best friend the “best” of her friends. Her answer? “Because we both love the color pink.” Seemed logical to me.

Some of us have had many good friends, even if some lasted for only a while. I have not had the luxury of having the same best friend for my whole life, but I have had many good friends along the way who I credit for teaching me what a good friend is, each one entering my life when I needed them.

While specific personality traits might differ from person to person, here are some of the qualities most of us look for in a friend:

  1. They show empathy and basic kindness. Some people are naturally programmed to respond in a compassionate way, while for others, this approach is not always easy. We all exist on different areas of the empathy spectrum, but look for, at least, a minimum understanding of basic kindness and understanding. Treating others with respect should be the bare minimum.
  2. You feel good when you are with them. A good friend is someone who you can be yourself with, and around whom your mood improves. They make you feel good about yourself and who you are.
  3. They are willing to apologize and admit when they’re wrong. The ability to admit to shortcomings is a highly undervalued quality in a person. A lot of growth can come from the ability to admit when one is wrong and to apologize accordingly. It shows maturity, compassion, and high self-esteem. The ability to admit when there is an area that we do not know enough about, or perhaps need to reexamine, makes us more agreeable. In my experience, this level of maturity improves with age. Disagreements or personality conflicts are an inevitable part of being human, so it’s essential to find a friend who can handle this with grace and maturity.
  4. They have time for you. In today’s era of constant availability, it can be difficult to imagine not being easily accessible. However, if you find that the person is not responding to messages or calls, or seems to never have time for you, this might be a sign that they are not able to be a good friend to you right now, for whatever reason. Know your worth and when you are not being fully valued. If you feel ignored or pushed aside, this is a clue that the person might not have enough time for you or might not share the same desire for time together. Having differing priorities than ours does not make the other person unhealthy, but it will improve the chances of our connecting on a deeper level while decreasing the need for unnecessary pain or arguments if they are more aligned.
  5. They are trustworthy and reliable. This is very important. Pay attention to how you feel around this person emotionally and physically. Do you feel like you can be yourself, complete with your opinions and desires? Someone who cares about you will be there when they say they will and hold themselves accountable to promises made. They will follow through, and you can rely on them.

By Kaytee Gillis, LCSW for Psychology Today©

 

A helpful guide: