Tag: #marriage

His Needs/Her Needs-5 Most Basic Needs in Marriage

 

Therapists have discovered 5 basic categories of needs that both men and women expect to be fulfilled in a happy marriage. Not surprisingly, men and women want different things from a relationship to work. Taken from a survey of thousands of participants, here are the results that may or may not surprise you.

The Man’s five most basic need tend to be:

  1. Sexual fulfillment
  2. Recreational companionship
  3. An attractive spouse
  4. Domestic support
  5. Admiration

 

The Woman’s five most basic needs tend to be:

  1. Affection
  2. Conversation
  3. Honesty and openness
  4. Financial support
  5. Family commitment

Although these categories may not apply to everyone, the vast majority of each sex do agree that the needs listed are their deepest ones when it comes to a happy marital relationship.

Do these results represent your views of a happy marriage? Do the results change your view of the opposite sexes needs in any way?

Excerpted from the book. “His Needs, Her Needs” by Willard F. Harley

Photo credit: WordPress.com

Related:  Conversation Starters-Marriage Check In – TUTORING YOU

Two Words That Could Divorce-Proof Your Marriage

Back when you and your spouse started dating, he used to get up extra early to surprise you with your favorite egg and cheese bagel for breakfast and you couldn’t stop gushing about how awesome he was. But when he whipped up a bowl of oatmeal yesterday, you barely even acknowledged the gesture. Oops.

 

Being in a long-term relationship comes with a lot of positives. One of the downsides, however, is that you kind of start taking each other for granted. Not only is this Michelle Tanner-style rude, but it could also spell bad news for your relationship.

That’s per a paper published in the journal Personal Relationships that found that gratitude is key to a healthy and successful marriage. What they found was that expressions of gratitude were the most consistent significant predictor of marital quality.

“Feeling appreciated and believing that your spouse values you directly influences how you feel about your marriage, how committed you are to it, and your belief that it will last,” said study co-author Ted Futris, an associate professor at the University of Georgia.

In fact, researchers argue that the simple act of saying “thank you” to your partner regularly can be powerful enough to protect a couple’s divorce proneness. Wowza.

Just a little something to keep in mind the next time your partner brings you coffee in bed.

Thanks to letters@purewow.com (Alexia Dellner) for this article.

Photo by ©Twenty20

Related:  His Needs/Her Needs-5 Most Basic Needs in Marriage – TUTORING YOU His Needs/Her Needs-5 Most Basic Needs in Marriage

‘Sleep Divorces’ Are on the Rise—Could They Actually Save Your Marriage?

What happens when the reason you’re not getting your zzz’s is because of your partner? Maybe they snore, roll around too much or blast the AC. This might just call for a “sleep divorce.” With the help of matrimonial attorney and author of The New Rules of Divorce: 12 Secrets to Protecting Your Wealth, Health, and Happiness, Jacqueline Newman, let us explain.

What’s a “sleep divorce”?

 Simple: A sleep divorce is when a couple makes the mutual decision that they’re not going to sleep in the same bed for the sake of wellness. For instance, if the bed is too soft for one person, maybe they sleep on the couch, pull-out, guest room or perhaps even purchase a new bed. If snoring is the issue, the couple may decide to sleep on different floors of the house.

But isn’t sleeping separately bad for marriage?

 Au contraire! The word “divorce” probably makes you think it’s a bad thing, but according to Newman, a sleep divorce actually restores a lot of marriages and relationships. In fact, the whole point of a sleep divorce is to salvage or at least improve the relationship. If sleeping together means one or both partners is losing sleep, then sharing a bed might actually be bad for the marriage.

How is sleeping in separate beds good for a relationship?

If your partner is the reason you’re not getting a solid eight hours, your anger and contempt could escalate to a whole new level. A sleep divorce could prevent these negative emotions from simmering to a boil. When we’re better rested, we’re healthier and happier, making us better partners because we’re able to show up.

But what about sex?

 If you like your sex with a side of sleep, get it done and then retreat to your preferred sleeping arrangements. Keep in mind, this doesn’t mean your relationship has failed; you’re just at a new stage.

Sold. So, how do I ask for sleep divorce?

 A healthy sleep divorce means the decision is mutual. Newman advises that the couple has to be on same page. “If one person derives huge amount of comfort from snuggling and connection, weigh your needs. Make the decision together.” And if you’re the partner who isn’t so into a sleep divorce, don’t just dismiss the idea, especially if your partner will experience this as rejection. Instead, like every other aspect of your marriage, make sure to communicate, be vocal, address needs and make compromises. Divorce granted.

Source: Dara Katz for purewow.com©

Photo by JGI/JAMIE GRILL/GETTY IMAGES

Related:  https://tutoringyou.org/two-words-that-could-divorce-proof-your-marriage/