Why couples split
Brides and grooms typically go into a marriage thinking until death do us part. Still, for every 1,000 marriages in the U.S. in 2019, 14.9 ended in divorce, which was a 50-year low.
If you’re going through a divorce and aren’t financially prepared, there are resources that may be able to help. And though the road ahead will be difficult, it might help to consider what life could look like after the divorce.
The following are only contributing factors and not legal grounds for divorce, though there is some overlap.
1. Money
Perhaps unsurprisingly, finances are one of the most common reasons for divorce proceedings and is a top reason why couples argue. In fact, a survey conducted by Finder in 2020 found that about a third (33.78%) of American adults would reconsider a romantic partnership due to a partner’s debt. In short: It’s a good idea to balance that checkbook.
Ironically, the average cost of a divorce with an attorney is about $10,000. If finances were the reason for your nuptial negation, consider some alternative options for ending it. There are less expensive online divorce services that can save you money if you have an uncontested divorce.
2. Addictions
According to Health Street, 7.3% of divorces are a result of drug or alcohol addiction. Whether it’s prescription drugs, sex, alcohol or illegal narcotics, addictions can become a strain on relationships. Also, addiction can sometimes lead to other behaviors that are the catalyst for divorce, such as money mismanagement, infidelity and abuse.
3. Commitment issues
A study by Couple Family Psychol found a “lack of commitment” to be the number one reason couples got divorced, with 75% of couples citing this as the reason for their relationship breakdown. In this context, “commitment” has two references: the first being intimacy and romantic feelings, the second involving willingness to build the relationship together.
4. Infidelity
In a 2020 study conducted by Finder, it was found that Americans were about four times more likely to cheat on their significant other than on their taxes. Roughly 8.8 million Americans admitted to cheating on their taxes versus the 34.1 million who admitted to cheating on their partner.
5. Abuse
Domestic abuse can take many forms, from financial to emotional to physical to beyond. With the pandemic, domestic violence has been a rising global concern. For example, Google reported a 75% increase in searches related to domestic abuse support in Australia.
With resources limited due to social distancing and people being required to be confined or quarantined together for long periods, tensions can run high.
The abuse might not always be directed at the partner. Abuse toward children might also be a reason couples split. If you struggle with abuse, or have and believe you may relapse, call 800-662-4357 to reach the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration’s hotline.
6. Getting married too young
Getting married too young is one of the most commonly cited reasons for divorce. However, it will be interesting to see whether this continues to be one of the top reasons going forward, with the average age of marriage in the US continuing to increase. The average age of those getting married reached an all-time high in 2018 for both men (29.8 years old) and women (27.8 years old).
7. Health issues
When a spouse becomes their partner’s primary caregiver due to an illness, it can create a stressful environment for all. Beyond the financial demands, the time commitment for care and other sacrifices can wear down a relationship.
In a 2009 study on gender, illness and partner abandonment, it showed women are more likely to experience separation and divorce after experiencing a serious illness.
8. Lack of communication
While we have more ways of communicating now more than ever, it seems we still can’t get it right sometimes. Frustration and anger can reach a boiling point when constructive communication isn’t present in a relationship.
A 2013 survey claimed communication problems as a top reason leading to divorces, according to over 60% of 100 mental health experts. While counseling and mediation could be used to work through it, reconciliation isn’t guaranteed.
What role has the coronavirus pandemic played in the reasons couples are divorcing?
“2020 has been a universally difficult year for everyone,” attorney Lisa Bustos said. “New challenges, such as online learning decisions, spending an inordinate amount of time with family or unexpected unemployment.”
“However, almost every single new client who has come to me has been thinking of this prior to the pandemic. The problems in people’s marriages have often existed for years, but now people are inspired to make a change in their lives.
By Richard Laycock,Allan Givens for Mediafeed©
Source: 8 reasons why people decide to divorce (msn.com)