When you’re running a few minutes late for dinner with friends, are the first words you say to the table, “I’m so sorry, I should have left earlier,” even though no one is upset? Do you feel the need to apologize several times and worry you’ve offended someone when you share your opinion in a group discussion? How about accidentally bumping into someone in a crowd?
Even as a therapist, I tend to say sorry more than I should. It’s a natural reflex, especially if you’re a people pleaser. Finding healthier and more intentional phrases is the first step toward being more intentional about how you communicate. Try practicing these phrases instead!
1. Thank you for your patience
2. I appreciate your understanding
3. Let’s find a solution together
4. I hear you—I’m going to do things differently in the future
5. I’ll take steps to prevent this
6. Thank you for the feedback, it’s important to me
7. I understand where you’re coming from
8. Let’s move forward constructively and address this together
9. This didn’t go as planned
10. I know you’re hurting right now; how can I help?
There’s a strong and powerful connection between how we convey our thoughts and self-esteem. Replacing unnecessary apologies with more intentional, meaningful statements is the start to ending the over-apologizing epidemic and reserve saying sorry for when it truly matters.
Article by Morgan Bailee Boggess, MSW, CSW for Parade©
Photo credit: wayssay.com
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