Often when life goes awry or things don’t work as planned, the easiest place to begin your search for answers is externally with questions such as, ‘Whose fault is it?’ ‘Why does this keep happening to me?’ or ‘What have I done to deserve this?’ Sometimes the best place to look when life goes wrong without your permission is in the mirror. Sometimes all that you can do is take the time to change your thinking!
How do you know if it’s time to make a change?
Think about your current circumstances in different areas of your life (e.g., health, relationships, career, personal time).
First, ask yourself:
- What is working well for you?
- What brings joy, satisfaction, meaning, or purpose?
- What is moving you in the direction of well-being?
- What is aligned with your deepest values?
- What is nourishing, helpful, or beneficial?
Make note of these answers. Listen to the signals from your body and be mindful of physical sensations as you reflect on different areas of your life. Is there openness, ease, expansiveness, contraction, tightness, tension, constriction, something else?
Next, ask yourself:
- Are there things that you have outgrown, that no longer fit, or that aren’t working for you (e.g., an old habit, an unhealthy or draining relationship, a job where you feel you are languishing versus flourishing, a behavior not serving you, such as going to bed too late or drinking too much)?
- What brings unease, feels stifling, or causes constriction in your body? Listen again to your bodily signals as you reflect on the various areas of your life.
- What moves you away from well-being in your life?
- What behaviors or situations are no longer aligned with your current values?
- When you think it thru, you may realize that it is time to make some changes.
Here are 5 steps you can take to change your thinking:
- Be aware of your thoughts. If you are not conscious of what you are thinking and how it is unhealthy you cannot change it. Be ok to simply sit with your thoughts and emotions. Be curious about them. Identify them.
- Realize negative thinking does not serve you well. When you become aware of your thoughts and how you interpret and respond to them, you will be empowered to take control. You can control your emotional state, and choose thoughts, reactions, and behaviors that best serve you.
- Let the negative thinking go. When you are aware of your thoughts, you can learn to hold on to the ones you want and dismiss the ones you do not want. This will take some practice but becomes easier with time. The key is to not let the negative mindset take root.
- Replace the negative thought with a positive one. Do your best to let go of the negative thoughts. It can be helpful to write down the negative thought and write down a positive, affirming thought to replace it.
- Feed your mind with positivity. Your brain processes everything so be intentional about filling your mind with positive things. Make sure that what you are reading, watching, or scrolling through on the internet is lifting you up. Think of it as brain food.
Positivity
Positive thinking looks at the bright side of life and focuses on opportunities versus problems. As you practice this new mind shift, you will get faster getting yourself back in a positive mindset. When you think positively you can overcome more. You can achieve more. Your future will be better than your past.
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