This Skill Sets Highly Successful People Apart

 

Steve Jobs once asked: “Have you ever thought about what it is to be intelligent?” The legendary Apple cofounder asked his audience in 1982 when he won a “Golden Plate” award from the Academy of Achievement. “Probably some of you have, right? Because you meet your friend, and he’s pretty dumb, and maybe you think you’re smarter and you wonder what the difference is?”

A lot of it, he said, is the ability to zoom out and make connections that other people can’t see. 

“You have to not have the same bag of experiences as everyone else does — or else you’re going to make the same connections.” What comes through in stories from some of the most creative, innovative, and successful people, he said, is that “they had a variety of experiences which they could draw upon in order to try to solve a problem or attack a particular dilemma in a kind of unique way.” 

 

That’s it. You become vastly smarter when you’re good at making new and interesting connections, which you’re able to do with a vast array of experiences.

Sounds simple in theory. But in practice, it’s easy to get stuck in the same old patterns and ways of doing things instead of accumulating new experiences. 

Breaking out of these periods of malaise requires mental strength and the discipline to make four commitments to yourself:

1. ‘I will take responsibility for being in a rut’

A friend told me she’d been miserable in her job for years and wanted to start over in a new city. She’d also quietly blamed her partner all that time, assuming he’d never move away from his family.

After we talked, she accepted responsibility for the pattern she’d fallen into and discussed a move with her partner, who was actually eager to accommodate.  

Sometimes we fall into a rut and look at everyone and everything around us as the reason we’re in that rut. But getting  “unstuck” starts with you. Be honest if you’ve put yourself in “park” and take ownership to get back in “drive.”

2. ‘I will recognize the pattern I’m in’

This commitment is about recognizing the specifics of the pattern you’ve fallen into and the habits weighing you down. For example: 

• You repeatedly tell yourself, “I’ll wait.”  
• You tend to avoid new challenges when they arise. 
• You’re always justifying why you’re stuck where you are.
• You’re continually convincing yourself that “things will change.” 
• You want things to change, but don’t want to change them yourself. 

You recognize patterns like these by having the discipline to step back once in a while to work on your life, not just in it. Ask yourself: Where and how do I seem stuck? Where am I holding myself back from things I want to accomplish, or the life I want to live? 

If it helps, talk these questions through with a friend who knows you well. 

3. ‘I will recommit to the idea of being challenged’

When you’re stuck in a rut, you tend to repel challenges in favor of staying in your comfort zone. You’re in a mode of repetition and choose the path of least resistance. You’re not challenging much of anything — your assumptions, the status quo, or yourself.  

Remind yourself how exhilarating it can be to be challenged. Start with something small and doable. It could be anything, like attempting to play pickleball or finally taking Spanish lessons.

Begin to feel the thrill of learning, growing, and building your bank of experiences to draw from. 

4. ‘I will get going’

It’s hard to change course if you don’t have a destination. Ask yourself: Where do I want to go? What’s my new goal? What’s next?  

When you have that goal, write it down. Research shows that just by writing down your goals, you’re far more likely to achieve them versus simply thinking about them. You’re likelier still to succeed when you tell a friend, and even more so when you regularly share your progress.

Start by taking a single, small step. Maybe you want to get out of that nowhere job and into an industry you’re passionate about. Schedule lunch with a friend who works in that industry. Maybe you want to break out of a stale routine of chores and errands you and your partner have fallen into, so you schedule a weekend adventure to somewhere you’ve never been before. You get the idea. 

Even the tiniest step can be invigorating — helping you start accumulating new experiences and making novel connections. And that’s just smart.

Source: msn.com©