Category: Stress Relief

How to Declutter Your Wardrobe

6 Simple Steps for Owning Less Clothes

Do start each day by opening your drawers or walking into your closet only to hang your head in despair? Are you frequently overwhelmed by the contents of your wardrobe? Do you regularly feel even though you may own multiple items of clothing- that you have nothing to wear? Have you recently lost or gained weight and are holding onto clothing in the hopes of one day being able to wear it again or the fear of growing into it again? Are your closets and drawers overstuffed to the point that you cannot easily close them or identify what’s inside? Have you tried in the past to declutter your wardrobe to no avail?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, keep reading. I will show you the simple, practical steps I have taken to declutter and obtain a manageable/streamlined wardrobe that I love.

simple wardrobe hanging on a rack-declutter your wardrobe

How To Declutter Your Wardrobe

I think we all at some point have looked at the contents of our wardrobes and thought, “I have nothing to wear!”

You may own hundreds of articles of clothing, yet when faced with the choice of what outfit to put together on any given day, you are suddenly paralyzed with indecision.

According to researchers, this is a real phenomenon. It’s called “decision fatigue “. Decision fatigue refers to the deteriorating quality of decisions made by an individual, after a long session of decision-making. In a nutshell, a person makes tens of thousands of decisions in a day; pants or skirt, cream or sugar (or both), bagel or croissant, coat or sweater, car or bus and you haven’t even made it out of the door yet! The concept of decision fatigue states that the more decisions a person makes in a day, the less effective those decisions become. You may find yourself at a 3:00 PM class or meeting unable to decide on the topic sentence for your term paper, or the focus of a sales pitch simply because you have “used up” your decision-making on all the little decisions earlier in the day.

Successful people who have reduced their wardrobe decisions

In order to reduce decision fatigue, many successful people are opting out of large, complicated wardrobes. The most obvious being Steve Jobs. Think about it, have you ever seen a photo of him when he wasn’t wearing a black turtleneck and blue jeans? Or  Mark Zuckerburg, Facebook CEO, who recently shared a photo on Facebook showing his wardrobe which consists entirely of tee-shirts and gray hoodies (don’t worry, he pairs them with jeans). When asked about his reasoning he states:

“I really want to clear my life to make it so that I have to make as few decisions as possible about anything except how to best serve this community.”

Likewise, President Obama prefers to limit his non-essential decisions by choosing the same blue/gray suits to wear each day. Whether you agree with his policies or not, he’s mastered the art of a simple wardrobe.

That’s all well and good, you say. They are all men, it’s easier for them to just throw on the same outfit and head out the door. Ahh, but it seems many women are catching on too. The Queen of England chooses the same style of dress, albeit in different colors, on her outings. Matilda Kahl, a Sony Music manager, wears the same outfit to work every day; a white, silk blouse and black trousers. According to Alice Gregory, a writer:

“When the weather permits—and it does in New York from September to May—I wear a black cotton turtleneck, skinny blue jeans that (crucially) are not tight and a pair of black boots. My hair, I have decided, is my main accessory. If it’s cold and dry, I wear a camel coat. If it’s cold and wet, I wear a black down rain jacket. It is the most comfortable, flattering and inoffensive outfit I’ve been able to come up with. It’s almost never inappropriate, and it has the magical quality of taking on the connotations of its surroundings. In a bookstore, I look bookish. At an art gallery, I look arty. On the subway, I am invisible. I can look young or old, rich or poor, cool or humble. In my uniform, people see me as they want to.”~Alice Gregory

So, what am I saying? Am I telling you that in order to declutter your wardrobe you have to get rid of everything you own/love and live a stark existence wearing one, monochromatic outfit? Only if you want to. I just wanted to put things in perspective before you begin your clean-out. If some of the most successful/powerful people in the world can scale back their wardrobe, so can you.

FIRST THING’S FIRST…PREPARE YOURSELF

You may be wondering why I recommend you prepare yourself first. Why not just start weeding through your piles of clothes immediately? Because the REAL first step in decluttering your wardrobe is to mentally and physically prepare yourself. Grab yourself a tall glass of water/tea/wine, put on some comfy clothes, and download a playlist of relaxing or energetic music; (or work in complete silence if you prefer). If you have little ones, make sure they are napping, in bed for the night, or see if someone can entertain them for you while you work. You need to be as distraction-free as possible. If dinner needs to be on the table sometime within the next couple of hours, be prepared to order take-out or wait until another time to begin this process. Your schedule needs to be cleared.

I will forewarn you, decluttering your wardrobe will take time, especially if you have a lot of clothing. Plan for 2-6 hours (for some people, it takes longer). Don’t let the time it will take scare you off. After all, it took you a lot longer than 2-6 hours to accumulate your over-stuffed wardrobe. Trust me, the effort will be worth it in the end and you will be ready to tackle your accessories, handbags, and shoes. That’s right, you don’t have to touch them. Yet. Once you decide which articles of clothing you love and want to keep, then you can decide which accessories, handbags and shoes complement them. You can save this for another day. Baby steps. Are you ready to begin your journey towards a more simple, decluttered wardrobe? I hope so!

STEP 1 | GATHER YOUR CLOTHES 

The first, and (for some) most difficult step you need to take in order to declutter your wardrobe is to remove ALL items of clothing (except for your accessories, handbags, and shoes) from your closets, drawers, laundry baskets, behind the couch, etc. and place them in an open area where you can begin sorting. This step is essential because it acts as a form of “shock treatment”. You may be quite surprised/daunted/disappointed by the sheer amount of clothing you own. Now is the time to take a deep breath and accept the fact that you may have too many clothes. It’s also the time to accept the fact that you are doing something about it. Remember this moment; you don’t ever want to return to it.

Some of you already want to stop reading. You may be thinking, “There’s no way, I don’t have the time to finish sorting this all right now. I don’t have the space to do this. My little ones will trip over or spill things on my pile.” Don’t worry, you don’t have to keep this entire mountain of clothes out all at once unless you prefer to do so. I like to toss everything onto my bed, so I am motivated to finish before bedtime. You don’t have to if you are not comfortable with this idea. You do, however, have to give yourself the shock treatment necessary to finish this project. Therefore, at least for a few moments, everything must be laid out in front of you.

STEP 2 | SORT INTO CATEGORIES

The next step towards having a decluttered wardrobe is to sort your mound of clothing into manageable categories. All pants into one pile, shorts into another, and skirts into yet another. Other categories could be short sleeve tops, tank tops, t-shirts, long sleeve tops, sweaters, etc. You may end up with twenty or so mini mountains. That is the goal. It is during this step where, if you were overwhelmed by having everything out, or you simply do not have room in your schedule to complete this process all at once; you can set some categories aside in a safe spot (preferably NOT back in your closet or dresser) to work on as time allows.

GATHER YOUR BOXES

You’ll need four boxes or bags for the items you will be parting with, as well as an area to place the articles of clothing you are keeping. Box number one will be for the items you want to discard. For example, items that are unsuitable for anyone else to wear or that you cannot re-purpose. Box number two will be for items you can re-purpose. That is, any item you can salvage for cleaning rags, fabric for crafting, buttons, and zippers, etc. Box three will be for the items which you will be donating. These are articles of clothing you will be bringing to a donation center or passing on to a family member or friend. The final box or bag will be for the items you plan to sell through consignment, yard sale, or an internet site.

My favorite ways to organize a closet

Over-the-door purse hanger

Velvet-covered hangers (I use these & I love them!)

Foldable drawer organizers

6-Tiered hangers (I use these for skirts, shorts, and pants)

Hanging closet organizer

STEP 3 | DIG IN

Glance over the piles before you. You will immediately recognize a few of your favorite items of clothing. Items that you wear frequently, love and are not damaged, can go directly into your “keep” pile. See, that was easy. Likewise, any items you cannot stand to look at, are damaged beyond repair, or that you have never worn, can be placed in their respective boxes for disposal.

Now to deal with what’s left.

Pick a pile, any pile. Pick up each item of clothing and inspect it. You may need to try it on if you are not sure it fits. If it no longer fits your style; get rid of it. If it doesn’t fit; get rid of it. If it fits, but you never wear it because you don’t feel good wearing it; get rid of it. You get the picture. Your goal is to end up with a wardrobe you’ll love, that fits who you are NOW. Not who you were 5-10 years ago. Not who you hope to become. You are searching for the items that will make you feel comfortable with yourself now. Ones you will be happy to wear over and over again.

Rinse and repeat with the remaining piles until every item of clothing has been sorted.

STEP 4 | RE-EVALUATE YOUR KEEP PILE

Turn your attention to your “keep” pile. Go back over the clothing in this pile and sort again into categories (pants, shorts, shirts, dresses, etc.). Do you notice a trend? Are you perhaps seeing lots of one category such as skinny jeans, button-up shirts or sweaters? If so, congratulations. You have discovered your “style”.

Now, you will need to go through and re-evaluate each item. For example, looking at your pile of pants. How many did you decide to keep? Five, ten, fifty (or more)? How many pants do you actually need? Take a minute and consider your lifestyle and needs. Do you work outside the home, or in/from home? Do you wear pants every day, or do you alternate with shorts and skirts? Are there any pants in the pile which do not fit with your overall style, but you decided to keep them based on the idea of your future self?

By asking yourself these, and any other questions you can think of, you may find you are able to part with a few more items. You may, on the other hand, discover you do not have enough pants. Don’t go shopping yet! While you may end up with “only” two pairs of jeans that you love, those two pairs may end up being enough when combined with whatever shorts, skirts or capris you decide to keep.

RE-EVALUATE SOME MORE

Continue re-evaluating each item in your “keep” piles, one category at a time. Ask yourself the questions listed above. Be as objective as possible. Never ask your spouse, significant other, or best friend what you should keep. This is YOUR wardrobe. Only you will ultimately be able to decide what stays and what goes.

Once you’ve whittled your clothing down to the items you want to keep, imagine the possibilities. Look for ways you can pair items together. Try out different combinations. Use items in different ways. Don’t be afraid to mix and match patterns, colors, and textures. Layer items for different looks.

TREAT YOURSELF

Treat yourself to some new, matching hangers. I use a set like these for tops and dresses, and these for pants, shorts, and skirts. Hang the items you have decided to keep in your closet or fold and place neatly in drawers. You may discover your clothes have more “breathing” room. At this time, you can store away off-season clothing if you live in an area with fluctuating weather conditions. Neatly store seasonal clothing in clear/labeled bins in your closet, attic or garage until needed. Only keep in your closet and drawers the clothing you be wearing for a season or two. I live in a four-season climate. I like to keep my Fall/Winter clothing out from October-March and switch to my Spring/Summer wardrobe from April-September. Do what works for you.

Identify any holes or missing must-have items in your new wardrobe.

Make a list of items you’d like to look for and keep it with you when you go shopping. You may be lacking a cardigan that you think would go perfectly with multiple items in your wardrobe. Add it to your list and keep your eyes peeled for the right one. Don’t think you have to buy the first one you see because it’s on sale. Refuse to settle and be patient. You may discover the cardigan you are looking for at a thrift or consignment store. Or you may even find it in the closet of a generous friend.

I’ve started using Stitch Fix to fill in the gaps in my wardrobe. Stitch Fix assigns you your own personal stylist who will find out your measurements/individual style. You will then schedule your clothing “fixes” to arrive in the mail. Pay for the items you wish to keep and send back the rest, along with feedback for the next package. At first, I was worried that using Stitch Fix would cause me to over-purchase. It hasn’t. In fact, it has helped me avoid the overwhelm of shopping at the mall. The best news is, Stitch Fix now has plus sizes for us “well padded” ladies!

STEP 5 | ACCESSORIES, HANDBAGS, AND SHOES

Once you’ve finished decluttering your wardrobe, you will be able to evaluate your accessories, handbags, and shoes with more clarity. These categories are not for the faint-of-heart! Many people, women especially, are sentimentally attached to their accessories, handbags, and shoes. If you suggest they part with even one, you may have to run for your life!

Go back to step one and sort through your accessories, handbags, and shoes systematically. Be as ruthless and objective as you can. You may find you are attached to items you never use or wear. This may be because of the money you spent to obtain them. You may experience remorse, anger or regret. These are perfectly normal responses. Do not keep an item because you inherited it, it was a gift, or because you spent hundreds of dollars on it. Only keep the items you know you will wear. If you have a pair of shoes that you only wore with a certain dress which you have discarded; discard the shoes as well.

Evaluate how well your accessories, handbags, and shoes coordinate with your new, streamlined wardrobe. Have a little personal fashion show to help you decide. Keep the versatile pieces and discard the rest. Sell the more expensive pieces and use that money to fund a spa day or to fill gaps in your wardrobe.

STEP SIX: DONATE, DISCARD, REPURPOSE, SELL

Remember those boxes you started with? Now is the time to deal with them. Your goal will be to remove them from your house as soon as possible. For items that need to be re-purposed, get to work on them immediately. If this box is not dealt with in 30-60 days, dispose of it. Seal the box(es) that need to be donated, put them in your vehicle or beside your door and make donating them a priority. Do NOT dig back through them!

Finally, for items you wish to sell, bring them to your nearest consignment shop, post them online, or seal them up and sell them in your next yard sale. Again, no pick-overs. Immediately throw away the articles of clothing labeled for discard. Don’t let them sit in your home or they may end up mixed back in with your “keep” clothes and you’ll have to start all over!

On a side note

Some may disagree with my decision to part with clothing that does not fit. If you are a woman who is 3-6 months postpartum, by all means, keep some favorite items from your pre-baby wardrobe! Just know, not everyone bounces back to their before-baby-body. In addition, not everyone feels comfortable wearing their old clothing once they become a mom; short shorts and low-cut tank tops anyone? Besides, part of the fun of having a baby is going shopping for your new wardrobe that fits your new life and new body. Am I right?

As far as keeping clothing you’ve grown out of in the hopes of fitting back into it “one day”. Unfortunately, I have had plenty of experience with this. Personally, I am not in favor of holding onto this part of my wardrobe. For me, looking at the clothes I can no longer wear fosters feelings of disappointment and regret. As a result, I don’t look at them as motivation as some people might. Instead, I berate myself for “letting myself go”. In my opinion, I’d rather let the old wardrobe go and feel good about who I am now by wearing clothing that’s comfortable while still working to get down to a healthy size. When this happens, I can always find new clothes. Besides, styles change, and my old wardrobe may no longer fit in with the “new” me once I lose weight.

Ultimately, the only thing that matters, is how you feel. Which items you toss, keep and store is completely up to you.

DECLUTTER YOUR WARDROBE…ALL DONE!

Well, how did it go? Hopefully, you are enjoying your new wardrobe as well as the space created by your decluttering. The key now will be to maintain your new, streamlined wardrobe. When you bring home a new item of clothing, see if you can part with something already in your wardrobe. Periodically review your closet and drawers. If there is anything you haven’t worn all season, perhaps you can part with it. Take care when laundering your clothing. Only wash clothing when soiled. Hang items to dry when possible in order to prevent wear and tear.

Think of your closets as valuable real estate. Don’t let items linger without paying rent. If you don’t wear it or love it; evict it.

unclutteredsimplicity.com

Abel Tasman National Park in New Zealand

Abel Tasman National Park in New Zealand

The Abel Tasman National Park is an easily accessible coastal paradise. You can choose to explore the park from land, on the water, or in the air, with tour operators aplenty offering cruises, water taxi services, kayaking options, heli-tours and sailing catamarans.

Whilst summer is a popular time to visit, locals believe that the shoulder seasons are actually the best time to explore the park, as crisp mornings, calm waters and quiet beaches allow you to truly enjoy the peace and serenity.

Those who crave home comforts can stay in luxurious lodges, but sleeping under the stars is regarded as the ultimate way to experience the spirit of the Abel Tasman.

Key Highlights

Here, inviting sandy beaches fill the spaces between trees and tide line. Crystal clear streams tumble down mossy valleys to join the ocean. Granite and marble formations fringe the headlands, which are cloaked in regenerating native forest.

At Te Puketea Bay, a perfect crescent of golden sand, a walking track leads up Pitt Head to an ancient Maori pa (fort) site. Terracing and food pits are still visible, and it’s easy to see why the location was chosen as a defensive site – the views are huge.

Native wildlife is an essential part of the scenery. Tui and bellbird song fills the forest; shags (cormorants), gannets and little blue penguins dive for their dinner; fur seals lounge on the rocks around the edge of Tonga Island.

Access & Accommodation

The park is accessible from Marahau and Kaiteriteri in the South, and from Golden Bay and Totaranui in the North. Most water taxi services depart from Marahau or Kaiteriteri and travel only as far north as Totaranui.

There are comfortable private lodges at Awaroa and Torrent Bay. The Department of Conservation (DOC) provides four ‘Great Walk’ hikers’ huts along the Coastal Track and four standard huts on the inland tracks. These hutshave mattresses, water and toilets – some have cooking facilities. Campsites with water, toilets and fireplaces are also available within the park. Bookings are required in peak season.

Various types of accommodation can be found at the settlements of Motueka,  Marahau and Kaiteriteri at the southern end of the park, and Golden Bay and Totaranui at the northern end.

Wilson Walk NZ

Key Activities

The coastal track and other walks

Classed as one of New Zealand’s ‘Great Walks’, the Abel Tasman Coastal Track takes between 3 and 5 days to complete. It climbs around headlands and through native forest to a series of beautiful beaches. The track is walkable at any time of the year. Expect to see lots of other walkers and day visitors in summer, though the northern stretch from Totaranui to Wainui is far-less frequented. For a different view of the park, there are inland tracks that lead up to the dramatic karst landscape of Takaka Hill.

Day trips

For those with only a day to see Abel Tasman National Park, water taxi companies can provide a personalised mix of sightseeing by boat and track walking. It’s easy to arrange pick-up or drop-off points at various points along the tracks. Pre-booking is advised. Enquire at Motueka, Marahau or Kaiteriteri.

Sea kayaking

Abel Tasman National Park is an idyllic sea kayaking region with a number of kayaking companies that run guided tours from Marahau, Kaiteriteri and Golden Bay.

If you’d rather be independent, you can rent sea kayaks and stay at campsites, huts or lodges within the park.

Be sure to hire your sea kayak before you go into Abel Tasman National Park. At the southern entrance to the park, sea kayak hire is available at Kaiteriteri and Marahau. At the northern Golden Bay entrance, enquire at Takaka. Commercial operators require you to participate in a full safety brief before hiring sea kayaks for independent trips.

A large tidal range on the coast requires expert local knowledge to get the most out of each day and to experience some unique features that cannot be seen on certain tides.

A guide designs each day around your interests and abilities, taking care of your comfort, and providing all necessary training. Whether you are a skilled sea kayaker, or it is your first time giving it a go, expert guides are trained to show you the best of what the Abel Tasman National Park has to offer.

The Abel Tasman National Park is renowned for its protected coastline but it’s impossible to guarantee the conditions. It is important to check the weather report and pack suitable clothing and supplies before heading out on your journey.

Key Tips

  • Abel Tasman Coast Track huts and campsites need to be booked in advance all year round.
  • Department of Conservation camp passes are required to use the campsites along the Coastal Track.
  • Fishing is prohibited in the Tonga Island marine reserve, which runs between Bark Bay and Awaroa Head.
  • Safe drinking water is available at Totaranui, Bark Bay and the Anchorage. All other water needs to be treated or boiled.
  • The sea is a comfortable temperature for swimming between December and March.
  • From Wainui to Totaranui in the north, water taxi service is almost non-existent and guided group trips are strictly limited, allowing for a deeper wilderness experience for the keen independent traveller.
  • Conditions, facilities and services change – always check the latest information at the nearest DOC visitor centre before you venture out.

Source:  newzealand.com

The Secret to Avoiding Arguments with Difficult People

Managing the difficult personality requires care and specific strategies.

Interacting with difficult personalities is often frustrating or even enraging, but it is possible to learn how to manage interactions with these individuals more effectively.  As difficult as difficult personalities can be, it is possible to interact with them in a way that does not cause extreme, unnecessary anxiety, frustration or anger. Having strategies to avoid arguments with these individuals is crucial.

Remembering a good quote can prevent a full-blown conflict.

In preparing to write this article, I found a quote that can keep you from engaging too deeply with a difficult personality. “Never argue with someone who believes their own lies.” The quote provides a stop sign when you find yourself feeling frustrated by the difficult person’s refusal to see reality or to honor the most basic social conventions of fairness or mutual respect. Someone who is difficult lies to themselves in a number of ways. They may tell themselves that they never wrong and that others are to blame; they may tell themselves that blaming others is a justified response; they may tell themselves that they are trustworthy, but others are not; they may tell themselves that they are honest or act with integrity; and so forth. Repeating this quote to yourself is a good example of using what clinicians call positive self-talk (one’s running inner dialogue) in a moment of feeling provoked or triggered. Ultimately, the reason why a person shouldn’t argue with someone who believes their own lies is because the difficult person is operating from an entirely different – and disturbed – playbook.

Accept that you will never “win” with a difficult person.

Men and women who are difficult have been difficult for years. Their personality underlies every work, school, or social interaction they have had for many years. The mental world of difficult people is not friendly or trusting. They can be predatory and competitive, and envy and anger are often bubbling under the surface. While a normal person enters a room full of people without extensive preconceived ideas about who those new people are, difficult people automatically start casing out the environment, trying to figure out who will be a threat or an opponent, or who will undermine or misunderstand them. Because the social interactions difficult people have are typically filled with frustration or tension, difficult people come to see others as threats or opponents. Accordingly, they see social situations as interactions that produce either a winner or a loser. Difficult people are fixated on not feeling wrong or deficient or being exposed publicly or personally for their weaknesses or limitations, so difficult people must end a conflict with the sense that they have won and prevailed. You will never “win” with someone whose self-esteem hinges entirely on the outcome of a conflict, so the only sanity-preserving strategy for others is to avoid engaging too deeply with them.

Think of the good and long-term relationships you have in your life (which difficult people don’t have).

I tell patients of mine who deal with difficult people to think of difficult people as living in a prison of sorts. The truth about difficult people is that they may have close relationships, but their close relationships are usually conflictual or empty (business-like or without emotion or real attachments).

Remember that your power lies in your ability to stay calm.

If you lose your cool, the difficult individual has gotten want they want out of the situation, which is to ensnare you. Difficult people don’t have awareness about what’s really going on with them emotionally (again, because they lack self-awareness), but they are often unhappy and in a negative mood. Unconsciously, they try to get the people around them to feel the same (negative) feelings they feel.

As soon as you recognize that the difficult person is trying to engage you, use a mental distraction technique.

Once you realize that the difficult person is being characteristically difficult and is on the brink of getting you to engage or join them in their negative feelings, distract yourself while they are talking by making mental lists. Make any of the following lists in your head which will allow you to detach from the what the difficult person is saying or doing: make a list of any birthdays of friends or family in the next month; make a list of items you need at home from the market or store; or make a list of two or three things you need to clean or organize.

The takeaway message: Difficult people are very good at what they do—ruffling the proverbial feathers of others. It is unrealistic to prevent all frustration with these individuals, but using the foregoing techniques can prevent you from feeling truly upset or thrown off as a result of the interaction.

Seth Meyers, Psy.D., is a clinical psychologist with the L.A. County Department of Mental Health.

 

Mindfulness for Beginners

Spotify

If you’re brand new to mindfulness, the idea of focusing your attention solely on yourself or successfully embracing the pillars noted by Kabat-Zinn, can seem somewhat intimidating.

Some approaches can help make mindfulness a little easier for beginners.

Mindfulness in One Day | Self-care | mindfulness | being mindful | purpose | in the moment | being present | meditation | for women | techniques | exercises | routine | worksheets | quotes | inspiration | motivation | activities |

mollyhostudio.com

Mindfulness techniques for beginners

If you’re brand new to mindfulness, the idea of focusing your attention solely on yourself or successfully embracing the pillars noted by Kabat-Zinn, can seem somewhat intimidating.

Some approaches can help make mindfulness a little easier for beginners.

Practice

Practice, practice, practice. Just as you’d take time to learn an instrument or language, mastering mindfulness is no different, explains Halliwell.

“We can learn the art of living well by practicing over and over, with an attitude of gentleness,” he notes.

Make time

Setting aside some time each day will help you make mindfulness a habit. You might dedicate the first 30 minutes of your morning or 10 minutes before bed.

Sometimes, when things are hectic, you might only be able to commit to a few minutes of mindfulness. And that’s OK.

Avoid pressuring yourself

Don’t set expectations or a timeline in which to see results. Everyone’s mindfulness journey is different, and putting pressure on yourself could affect your progress.

Find a mentor

Consider working with a teacher to learn the basics and stay accountable.

“Taking lessons … is usually more effective in the long-term than teaching yourself,” Halliwell says. Feeling a bit self-conscious about one-to-one sessions? You could look for groups to join instead or consider checking out meditation apps.

Find your style

Finally, you can take the time to find the best fit for you. What works for some may not be as effective for others. You shouldn’t force yourself to eat foods you don’t like, so don’t feel you have to stick with a particular approach if you’re not a fan.

Mindfulness exercises to try

Ready to get started? Here are a few simple approaches you can try to set those mindful wheels in motion.

Breathing exercises

We use our breath every few seconds yet often don’t give it a second thought. So why not bring it to the forefront now?

The 4-7-8 approach is designed to rein in your focus and bring you to a place of relaxation. Here are some steps to follow:

  1. Find a quiet spot, get comfortable, and exhale out of your mouth.
  2. Breathe in deeply through your nose for 4 seconds.
  3. Hold your breath for 7 seconds.
  4. Exhale loudly out of your mouth for 8 seconds. It’s fine to work up to this number if you find a long exhalation difficult at first.

Scan for sensations

Using body scanning is a good way to quiet noise from the outside world and recognize how you’re feeling.

  1. Lie down in a comfy, quiet space. Close your eyes and let your muscles relax.
  2. Then, starting from the top of your head, slowly move down your body, paying attention to any sensations. Focus on these for up to a minute, then let your thoughts drift away as you move to the next area of your body until you reach the tips of your toes.

Mindfully move

Heading outside? Make your walk mindful by really paying attention to your surroundings. What sounds do you hear? What scents can you smell? How does moving make you feel?

Increasing your awareness of elements such as these can help slow things down and instill a sense of calm.

Let’s recap

You can engage in mindfulness in various ways, from meditation and breathing to journaling and yoga. You might find some approaches easier or more enjoyable than others, so try to be patient when attempting to create an enjoyable mindfulness practice.

Learning to practice mindfulness is like learning a new skill: The more you do it, the easier it will become. And then? The more benefits you’ll reap.

Source: Mindfulness for Beginners: How to Get Started | Psych Central

Tony Robbins: Here’s what brings more happiness than money

By Tom Huddleston Jr. & CNBC

Money alone isn’t enough to make you happy.

But helping other people can give you long-lasting joy and the feeling of true wealth, according to life coach and self-made millionaire Tony Robbins.

“Lots of people get a billion dollars and they’re not wealthy, because wealth is emotion, it’s psychology, it’s spirit, it’s soul,” Robbins tells CNBC Make It.

One of the “biggest mistakes” that people make, Robbins adds, is to obsess only over making money instead of on improving quality of life for themselves and the people they care about.

“You think, ‘I’ve got to make this money so my family will stay together or I’ve got to make this money so there’s enough food…” Robbins says. He adds that this way of thinking is often described as a “scarcity mentality,” where people believe that there isn’t enough money to go around, so they obsess over the goal of clinging to money and objects while ignoring other sources of happiness like personal growth and relationships.

“Really, quality of life comes by finding a way to add more value to other people’s lives,” Robbins tells CNBC Make It.

Robbins notes that there is research that explores “what stimulates and sustains well-being and happiness, and the thing that does the least is buying things.” In other words, obsessing over money and buying material objects might give you momentary pleasure, Robbins says, but that good feeling typically does not stick around for long after you’ve made a purchase.

“The [material things you buy] don’t last, you get used to them,” Robbins says. “What’s more valuable, if you want happiness, is clearly being able to have experiences. When you buy experiences, they linger. A trip, the experiences, the emotions, all that.”

An experience like a vacation might produce lasting memories that provide longer-lasting happiness, but that feeling still doesn’t compare to making other people happy, according to Robbins. “When you buy something for yourself the pleasure almost never lasts that long. If it’s something huge, it doesn’t even last that long…” he says. “Giving money away actually gives more joy than almost anything else on the planet.”

If you want to be happy, Robbins’ advice is to do something for another person today — you don’t even have to know the person. Just test it out, see if it’s true or if I’m full of it. Do something really unique, and don’t do it to get [something], do it because you just want to give.”

“There have been times when I’ve had nothing and I gave that money away, and the level of freedom it created in me … I can’t even describe to you verbally.”

The pleasure that you derive from helping others can be life-changing, Robbins says. “You’re going to find a giant shift, and that shift will change the way you do business, it will change the way you approach your family, it will change the way you feel about yourself, and it’ll give you the experience of wealth,” he says.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/money/personalfinance/tony-robbins-heres-what-brings-more-happiness-than-money/ar-BBVlSoq?ocid=spartanntp

6 Signs You’re a Better Person than You Think You are

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With popular villains like Cal Jacobs and Jules Vaughn, from ‘Euphoria’, the question of morality is having a moment in pop culture. As these series illustrate, being “good” is rarely black and white, which can make it complicated to gauge your own moral compass.

Here are some signs you’re a better person than you think.

You act with good intentions and compassion

According to psychologist and author Rick Hanson, PhD, one of the primary ways of identifying that you’re a good person is through your thoughts, words, and actions. And generally having inclinations toward goodness means you’re probably a better person than you think.

“These include positive intentions, putting the brakes on anger, restraining addictive impulses, extending compassion and helpfulness to others, grit and determination, lovingness, courage, generosity, patience, and a willingness to see and even name the truth whatever it is,” Hanson wrote.

You believe you can learn from life’s challenges and improve

Carol Dweck, PhD, a psychology professor at Stanford University and author of “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success,” said that the growth mindset allows people to embrace challenges and overcome setbacks when they are faced with personal and professional obstacles. “Individuals who believe their talents can be developed (through hard work, good strategies, and input from others) have a growth mindset, which “allows people to thrive during some of the most challenging times in their lives.”

You confront your own biases and own up to your mistakes

In her book “The Person You Mean to Be: How Good People Fight Bias,” Dolly Chugh, a psychologist and associate professor of management and organizations at New York University’s Stern School of Business, explained the term “good-ish.” In the context of bias, this phrase refers to the idea that it’s better to confront our mistakes (such as mispronouncing someone’s name) than to be “perfect.”

Living an error-free life is tough. “A good-ish person is someone who’s not free of bias but who owns the bias when it happens,” Chugh wrote. “I actually think being a good-ish person is a higher standard than being a good person.”

You support others but you also make time to take care of yourself

“Helping others can give us meaningful roles that boost self-esteem, mood and purpose of life, which in turn can enhance mental and physical health,” wrote John Swartzberg, MD for Berkeley Wellness. That being said, also taking time to take care of yourself doesn’t mean you’re any less of a good person.

You mostly meet your own definition of what a ‘good person’ is

Morality isn’t black and white and acknowledging that fact makes a world of difference in how we perceive ourselves. In an interview with Psychology Today, Dr. Paul DePompo, a psychologist and author based in southern California, explained that viewing all of your actions as “good” or “bad” can be a toxic mindset that might alter your self-image.

“Thinking you are one or the other triggers problems when you eventually do a ‘bad’ thing – which we are all capable of – and you may get an inflated self-image when you are doing many ‘good’ things,” DePompo said. Instead, he suggests you first define what you think a good person is in three to five words (ie: “generous” or “thoughtful”). Then, you should figure if you feel you identify with being any of the words you’ve chosen. He said if you see yourself as being more than half of the words you chose, chances are “you are a relatively good, yet imperfect person.”

When it comes to relationships in your life, you communicate effectively and take responsibility for your actions

Being able to create and sustain healthy relationships could be a sign you’re a better person than you think. Doing so typically entails communicating effectively, treating others with respect, and taking responsibility for your actions.

“You can be assertive without being aggressive, supportive without rescuing other people, and you can be vulnerable without expecting people to save you,” Karen Meager, a life coach, told The Telegraph. “It’s about being responsible for yourself and being able to be in an adult relationship with other people.”

By Zoë Miller & Insider©

Source: msn.com

8 mental health tips that are so effective, therapists themselves swear by them

By Korin Miller and Well + Good

meditationing girl

There are so many strategies for cultivating a solid sense of mental health (Rethinking your social-media relationship! Scheduling a girls’ night! Journaling!) Still, figuring out what tips really work and what’s just noise is a highly personalized and hardly simple process.

Since nobody knows what’s what when it comes to mental health quite like the people who preach it each day, we asked therapists to weigh in. Here, the experts share which tools they personally reach for on a regular basis in order to help keep their own mental-health game strong.

1. Rethink the way you approach worrying

“We all have anxiety and things we worry about, but worry is thought garbage,” says Thea Gallagher, PsyD, clinic director at the Center for the Treatment and Study of Anxiety at the University of Pennsylvania’s Perlman School of Medicine. “There is no correlation between worry and outcome,” she adds, and it’s important to remind yourself of that fact when you start to stress.

When Dr. Gallagher finds herself worrying about something, she tries to put herself on the following thought path: Can I solve this problem? And what can I do about it, if anything? “If I can’t do anything about it, I can’t worry about it,” she says. “There’s no point.”

2. Find a good mindfulness app, and stick with it

The app Stop, Breathe & Think is a go-to for Tamar Gur, MD, PhD, a women’s health expert and reproductive psychiatrist at the Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center. “I use it almost daily,” she says. The app offers a few minutes of targeted, guided mediation based on emotions you’re feeling in that moment, and Dr. Gur fires it up when she gets to work, before tackling her long to-do list. “I use it to energize and ground myself,” and also sometimes to unwind before bed. She even encourages her kids to use it.

3. Take anxiety to the end

When anxiety creeps up on you (it can and it will), Dr. Gallagher recommends thinking about the worst that can happen in order to stay in control of it. When she was planning her outdoor wedding, for example, she knew bad weather was in the realm of possibility. “I took myself down the road of if it was bad, the wedding would be gross, and people might hate me and tell others I should have been more conscientious,” she says.

But she eventually realized that she’d still be married, and that was the whole point. “Sometimes taking yourself to the end of your fear or anxiety helps you realize that even if the worst thing happens, you’ll survive it,” she says. “It’s unlikely the worst will happen anyway.”

4. Make meditation an integral part of your day

Though meditation sounds like a fairly obvious means of boosting mental health, if you don’t plan for it in advance, squeezing in a session can prove tough. That’s why for David Klow, LMFT, author of You Are Not Crazy: Letters from Your Therapist, it’s simply routine.

“In the morning, I will take 30 minutes to do centering, grounding, and energy meditation practices,” he says. And before he leaves work for the night, he sits in his office for 15 minutes and “clears out” the stress from the day using meditation. “Doing this in the office, right after the sessions have ended, can be the most helpful while the work is still fresh,” he says. Finally, Klow does another 30-minute meditation before bed “to wrap up the day and get prepared for a restful night of sleep.”

5. Try not to read too much into things

When you, say, don’t hear back from a friend after you text them, it’s easy to let your mind spiral and assume something negative is the cause—like that your friend is mad at you. But next time this happens, don’t jump to conclusions. Think of other possible explanations. “Instead of a friend not responding to a text because they’re mad at me, I think that maybe they’re having a busy day,” Dr. Gallagher says. “Plus, if they are mad, they’ll need to tell me at some point.”

6. Take a big-picture approach to exercise

Regular exercise can boost both physical and mental health, but if you’re not able to dedicate as much time or intensity to your sweat sesh as you’d like, still try to be good to yourself. “You have to understand that you’re doing the best you can,” says psychologist Kathryn Moore, PhD. “I practice self-compassion and realize that I have to listen to my body. If I need to sleep a little later instead of going to a 6 a.m. workout class, that’s okay.”

It’s important to allow yourself some flexibility around your exercise routine so that you don’t feel shame or guilt if things don’t work out, Dr. Moore says.

7. Think twice about the types of content you consume

It’s easy to get wrapped up in a great book or show—and that can heavily influence your emotions. That’s why licensed clinical psychologist John Mayer, PhD, author of Family Fit: Find Your Balance in Life, has a “no sad entertainment” policy for himself. “I prefer not to see entertainment that portray real life drama, sad stories, and negative endings,” he says. “I deal with that every day. I don’t invite it into my personal space.” Of course, different genres affect everyone differently, but if you tend to feel bummed out after watching a sad movie or anxious after reading an intense book, it’s a thought worth considering.

8. Practice deep breathing when you’re annoyed

“I can’t say enough good things about deep, cleansing breaths,” Dr. Gur says, adding that a deep, purposeful inhale followed by a prolonged exhale is helpful when something really irritates her. “It helps me take a moment to at least approach the situation calmly and with more grace.”

msn.com/en-us/health/mentalhealth