Small talk can be awkward, uncomfortable, and stressful — but it can also lead to meaningful conversations and relationships down the line if you know how to do it the right way. There are a number of small talk habits that can draw people to you instantly, and although it might take some practice to nail them down, you can start incorporating them into your conversations and stop worrying about discussing the weather over and over again with people you just met.

Not all small talk is created equal, so if you really want to engage someone in a conversation, you’ll want to make sure you’re paying attention to what you’re saying. Here are nine small talk habits that will make people instantly drawn to you.

1 Having A Comfortable Opener

Beginning a discussion with someone out of the blue can feel like the most awkward part, so practice how you open up conversations with others. “This will make you look and come across more confident and encourage more people to talk to you,” says communications expert Michael Blakely over email. “It also shows you are happy to start the conversation, putting people at ease and allowing you to lead.”

2 Sharing Relatable Information About Yourself

Conversations about the weather or what someone is wearing can die out quickly. “The best ways to engage people are to share some information about yourself that other people can relate to, appreciate, or learn from,” says Deena Baikowitz, co-founder of Fireball Network, a coaching and consulting firm, over email “For example, talking about where you grew up, your family, why you chose your career. Talk about the things you are most passionate about – your hobbies, volunteer work, job, family.”

3 Asking Open-Ended Questions

Avoid questions that can be answered with yes or no and ask a person something that allows them to talk in-depth about their thoughts, dreams, and opinions. “By asking more of the ‘how’ and ‘why’ questions, you get people talking,” says Korobov. “And the truth is that most people love talking about themselves even if they won’t admit it. Open-ended questions create the space for people to feel safe doing so and provides a vehicle for them to feel heard.”

To view more conversation tips, click the link below.

9 Small Talk Habits That Can Make People Instantly Drawn To You (bustle.com)

Small talk might seem trivial, but it can deliver big results.

It can help us forge new or deeper connections with others by allowing us to discover unexpected areas of common interest. It can enable us to establish or reinforce our personal reputations, giving us an opportunity to demonstrate warmth and empathy.

The power of ‘Tell me more…’

“Tell me more” is a support response; it supports what the other person is saying. The opposite is a “shift” response,” which is a statement that shifts the conversation back to you.

If your friend complains about their annoying upstairs neighbor, you might say, “Yeah, you wouldn’t believe what my neighbor’s been putting me through. His party last night didn’t break up until after 3 a.m.” You’ve just shifted the conversation back to you and your concerns, rather than inviting your small talk partner to contribute even more.

A support response might be to empathize with your friend, or ask for more details about their neighbor’s bad behavior and how they handled it.

In the right context, it is fine to use shift responses — other people want to learn about us, and we don’t want to come across as withdrawn or secretive.

But many people make the mistake of treating other people’s stories as openings for them to talk about themselves. But if you do that often, you miss an opportunity to learn more.

After a conversation partner contributes a thought or anecdote, we can say something like, “What excited you about that?” or “Wow, what happened next?” or “How did you feel when that happened?

Comments like these give your partner permission to expand on what they said or provide deeper insight.

The more you support what someone else is saying, rather than shifting the focus to your experience, the easier and more enjoyable small talk becomes.

Article by Matt Abrahams for CNBC© Photo credit: CNBC©