Doing This After Watching TV Slashes Your Risk of Divorce, Study Says
One of the primary problems that destroys romantic relationships is poor communication—specifically on the subject of the relationship itself. When you and your partner avoid sharing your feelings and concerns about your relationship, it’s nearly impossible to find solutions that will bring you closer together and form a stronger connection where both parties’ needs are being met. And while this type of open, often vulnerable, communication can be difficult, there are ways to make it less intimidating. In fact, there’s one very easy way to lower your risk of divorce, according to an Oct. 2020 meta-analysis published in Journal of Contextual Behavioral Science: watch TV shows and movies featuring couples and talk about them.
For a 2013 study, psychologists looked at 174 couples to see how effective certain activities were at improving their relationships. The researchers divided the couples into four groups, assigning each group to either complete the highly regarded premarital relationship enhancement program (PREP); attend workshops offered by CARE, a program designed to build empathy and compassion; watch movies and discuss the onscreen relationships depicted; or do none of the above. Read on to see how the couples in each group responded.
1. Watching and discussing movies that feature a romantic relationship lowered divorce rates.
According to the study’s findings, the couples who weren’t assigned to the workshops or movie-discussion exercise had a divorce or separation rate of 24 percent in the first three years of marriage. For those in the CARE, PREP, and movie-watching groups, the divorce rate was around 12 percent, a 50 percent decrease from the group that did nothing to improve their bond. That means that watching a few movies with your partner and then talking about them is just as effective at lowering your risk of divorce as attending time-consuming relationship workshops.
“Instead of doing these 14-hour workshops where they have to come to campus, [couples can improve their relationship by] just watching three movies at home and having discussions about their relationship that they ease into by talking about the relationship on screen first,” study co-author Ron Rogge, PhD, an assistant professor of clinical psychology at University of Rochester, said in a statement.
2. Dramas are the most effective genre.
The only necessary criteria for the films you choose for the exercise is that they prominently feature a romantic, ideally long-term, relationship, Rogge told People. However, Rogge says that dramas seem to be more effective than romantic comedies because in the latter, the characters typically don’t become a couple until the end. Some films used in the original 2013 study included True Lies, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, and American Beauty.
3. And TV shows can serve as a similar form of couples therapy.
While the initial research focused solely on movies, Rogge says television shows are a perfectly acceptable alternative for busy couples with little free time to invest in a full-length feature. The important thing is the discussion that is sparked by whatever it is you and your partner choose to watch.
4. The exercise also improved the relationships of unmarried couples.
Follow up research conducted in 2016 found that the positive impact of these discussions surrounding onscreen romantic relationships wasn’t limited to married couples, either. The exercise had a similar effect on unmarried couples at various relationship stages, the research analysis said.
Article by Paul Thompson. Photo by BestLife©
America’s day of reckoning is here at last. With the last swing-state polls published and the voting lines a few hours from dissipating, there isn’t much more to say about the candidates’ chances of victory on Tuesday night.
While Tuesday is formally Election Day, in reality Americans have been voting for weeks. With a huge expansion in mail-in voting to safeguard against the Covid-19 pandemic, some 100 million people have already made their choice.
Trump has lost ground among suburban women, who favor Biden by a double-digit margin, and his “law and order” response to protests for racial justice may have turned off many Black voters.
Trump’s handling of the coronavirus pandemic has also led to a potential loss of support among seniors.
But Biden Inc.’s business interests are intertwined with those of China’s Communist oligarchs. Thus, “the Big Guy” seems not bloody likely to continue Trump’s unprecedented hard line against the Middle Kingdom on trade violations, intellectual-property theft, and East Asian maritime abuses.
And what about Biden’s Cabinet? After all, personnel is policy. Visualize Treasury secretary Elizabeth Warren, Labor secretary Bernie Sanders, and EPA administrator Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Does anyone truly expect “moderate” Biden to resist the radical Left? The Squad, Pelosi, and a Democratic Senate would place Medicare for All, the Green New Deal, and a zoo full of zany ideas on the Resolute desk and dare Biden to block those measures — if he still can lift his veto pen.
Trump’s defeat might yield much-craved “return to normal,” as network anchors calm down and congressional Democrats stop screaming “Russia! Russia! Russia!” Presumably, Trump’s Twitter machine would cool it, and his voice would fade into the background while he designs a beautiful, very special presidential library.
Until then, we wait for the final tally. Will it be for peace or tyranny?
Meditate deeply on that, then vote accordingly.
Written Exposure Therapy (WET) is a brief, 5-session exposure-based psychotherapy for PTSD that is recommended by the VA/DoD Clinical Practice Guideline. WET differs from other trauma-focused psychotherapies in its cost-efficiency and low treatment drop out.
This course reviews the theoretical mechanisms and development of WET, presenting the supporting and on-going research for WET as an evidence-based treatment for PTSD. The authors provide a comprehensive description of the WET protocol and its delivery and describe the type of patient who would be a good candidate.
Goals and Objectives
- Describe PTSD treatment
- Discuss WET development
- Describe on-going and future-planned WET studies
- Identify appropriate patients for WET
Find a Therapist
Available en Español
Good treatments for PTSD are available. Here are some suggestions for finding a therapist, counselor, or mental health care provider who can help your recovery.
Things to Consider
- If you are a Veteran, see Help for Veterans.
- Make sure the provider has experience treating people who have been through a trauma.
- Try to find a provider who focuses on evidence-based medications for PTSD or effective talk therapy for PTSD, such as Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT), Prolonged Exposure (PE) or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR).
- Find out what type(s) of insurance the provider accepts and what you will have to pay (out-of-pocket costs) for care.
- You may find more than one therapist. Learn about Types of Therapists.
- Contact your family doctor to ask for a recommendation. Or, ask friends and family if they can recommend a therapist.
- If you have health insurance, call to find out which mental health providers your insurance company will cover. Your insurance company may require that you choose a provider from among a list they maintain.
Finding a Provider Using the Internet
These resources can help you locate a therapist, counselor, or mental health provider who is right for you. Note: These resources can be used by anyone, and if you are a Veteran, see the “Help for Veterans” section below.
- Sidran Institute Help Desk will help you find therapists who specialize in trauma treatment. Email or call the Help Desk at (410) 825-8888.
- Anxiety and Depression Association of America offers a therapist search by location and mental health disorder. Call (240) 485-1011 or email.
- EMDR International Association has a locator that lists EMDR providers.
- ISTSS Clinician Directory is a service provided by the International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies (ISTSS) that lets you consider many factors in searching for a clinician, counselor, or mental health professional.
- American Psychological Association has a Psychologist Locator that allows you to search by location, specialty, insurance accepted, and gender of provider.
- Psychology Today offers a therapist directory by location. You can also find treatment centers.
- Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) offers a Behavioral Health Services Locator by location and type of facility (inpatient, outpatient, residential). Call for assistance 24 hours a day 1-800-662-HELP (4357).
GET HELP FOR PTSD
If you need help right away:
- Call 1-800-273-8255
Press “1” if you are a Veteran.
- Chat online with a counselor
- Call 911 or visit a local emergency room
If you’re single you already know: it’s rough out there in today’s dating market. For one thing, dating apps provide an endless stream of potential partners to choose from, which research shows only makes the selection and matching process harder. On top of this, you’re contending with more timeless dating woes including questionable chemistry, mysterious motives, and baggage on both sides. Given that many men also report feeling generally mystified by what women want in a partner, it’s a wonder anyone gets together in the end.
Thankfully, a new study has shed some light on the question of what women want, and demystifying it may just help some people couple up. The study, published in Science Advances analyzed data from online dating exchanges and determined that in the hierarchy of desirable qualities, being highly educated was considered the most attractive quality in men.
“Desirability is associated with education most strongly for men, for whom more education is always more desirable,” the researchers explained. Those with higher degrees had higher message rates from online daters, and tended to interact more with women who were themselves considered “highly desirable.”
That said, if you don’t happen to hold a degree, don’t despair: there are several more subjective qualities which women tend to rank as highly important in a potential partner, but are less likely to be included in this type of ranking. This means you may very well attract a partner with your wit, charm, or warmth—especially IRL, where she can get to know the person behind the profile.
If there’s one thing research shows women really want in a partner, it’s kindness. In fact, one international survey that polled over 14,000 people across 45 countries found that this was considered the single most important quality in a potential mate.
Intelligence and education are often intertwined, but they’re not the same thing—and research shows that many women value intelligence in a man regardless of whether there’s a degree to confer it. There are plenty of bright and curious people without top tier degrees, so be sure to share your other passions and accomplishments with pride.
You can’t exactly put your generosity in your online dating profile, but if you demonstrate this desirable quality in person, research shows that women will notice. An August study from Indiana University found that this tends to create a “halo effect” that increases a man’s overall attractiveness.
While cockiness is likely to ultimately put women off, demonstrating confidence helps others buy in and see you through a rosier lens. Show off your best qualities while also taking ownership for your quirks or shortcomings—or in other words, just be yourself. Do that, and your odds of finding the right fit should multiply.
Article by Lauren Gray
EatThis,NotThat article by Keenan Mayo
If you’ve ever gained weight unexpectedly, you know how easy it is to cast blame on that double-cheeseburger you availed yourself of the night before you stepped on the scale. But the truth is, weight gain—like weight loss—occurs over time. “It’s usually ‘small behaviors plus time,’ rather than the big ones, that lead to weight gain,” Jonathan Ross, the American Council on Exercise’s senior adviser on personal training, explained to Men’s Journal. “We might think about knocking out a half of a pizza one night out, but the bigger issue might be the soda we have in the afternoons as a pick me up. It’s a small, single choice, but if it’s repeated frequently enough, it can cause a big impact.”
Believe it or not, some of those bad decisions are so small you don’t even know you’re making them—from eating one of the world’s healthiest foods simply too much to putting the wrong thing in your cup of Joe every morning. For a look at some of the smallest and sneakiest little decisions you’re unwittingly making that may be packing on a few extra pounds, read on, because we’ve compiled them right here.
1. You’re an Avocado Addict:
While avocados are a very healthy food, they are also very high in calories because of the generous amount of healthy fat they contain. According to the USDA, 1 cup of crushed avocado is 384 calories and 34 grams of fat.
2. You’re Grazing Too Much
According to nutritionist, chiropractor, and author Daryl Gioffre, DC—whose clients including talk-show host Kelly Ripa, supermodel Petra Nemcova, and beauty magnate Bobbi Brown—one of the sneakiest ways you can gain weight is by grazing too much. “The average American grazes all day, eating roughly 17 times per day, including snacks,” says Gioffre. “While constant grazing will stimulate your metabolism, there is more downside than upside as it steadily dumps insulin into your blood, which cues your body to store fat.”
3. You’re Not Drinking Your Coffee Black
Sixty-seven percent of Americans put something in their morning coffee, according to a study from Public Health, and those add-ins can be an extra 69 calories per day—much of that coming from added sugar. “Flavored hot beverages can be one of the biggest culprits when it comes to calories that sneak up on you,” says Krikhely. “Multiple pumps of syrup, whipped cream, caramel or chocolate syrup topping—or even simply a large serving of milk—can turn a simple cup of coffee or tea into the equivalent of a large helping of dessert.”
4. You’re Waiting Too Long Between Meals
According to Shena Jaramillo, MS, RD, one of the sneakiest ways you’re gaining weight is by simply waiting too long to eat in-between meals. “This can cause us to crave really high-fat, high calorie food choices, and to eat more of them at meal times,” she says. “Overall this leads to excess calorie intake and weight gain.”
5. You’re Eating Sugar-Free Snacks
“Those sugar-free biscuits and ‘only natural ingredients’ health bars, for example, are secretive tricksters,” says David McHugh, founder and CEO of the health site My Mixify. “Although sugar-free products lack the processed sugar, they don’t fill you up, causing you to eat more than you need. On top of that, natural product health bars still contain a lot of sugar from dried fruits and dates, which still means you’re taking in too much sugar.”
6. You’re Eating Anything Straight from the Bag
Fact: Monitoring the serving size of any food—healthy or unhealthy—is a responsible weight-loss tactic we wholeheartedly endorse. Another fact: You can’t monitor the serving size of anything if you’re whoofing it straight from the bag it comes in.
7. You’re Snacking While Prepping Meals
“People often nibble and snack on foods while they’re preparing meals, without taking into account that these nibbles have calories, too,” says Krikhely. “For those with a tendency to snack while cooking, keeping ready-to-eat vegetables available to snack on can be helpful. A few ideas could be baby carrots, grape tomatoes, or sliced bell peppers. These items have crunch and lots of flavor, and will satisfy that urge to nibble without sneaking in tons of unwanted calories.”
8. You’re Not Storing Food in Glass Containers
It’s not just the food you put into your body that affects your weight and your metabolism. How you’re storing your food plays a role, as well, says Sarah Rahal, MD.
“Unfortunately, different chemicals, such as parabens and bisphenols (which are found in plastic wrap and containers) mimic estrogen in the body, and can lead to hormone disruption and weight gain,” Rahal says. “This is also true for other chemicals you may have in the home, like phthalates which are found in artificial fragrances. These exposures are a hidden culprit in weight gain, and important to avoid! Steer clear of plastics by storing food in glass containers, using glass or stainless steel water bottles, and never reheating food in plastic. Also, avoid artificial fragrances by opting for essential oils.”
9. You’re Working Out Too Much
This won’t necessarily apply to everyone, but, according to Amanda Brooks, CPT, author of Run To The Finish: The Everyday Runner’s Guide to Avoiding Injury, Ignoring the Clock, and Loving the Run, you could be secretly gaining weight by pounding the pavement too hard.
“One of the most fascinating things I see in runners I work with is that they’re doing too much,” she says. “Often our stress hormone cortisol is high from a busy day at work, plus family and then we add in super intense workouts, which means it never gets a chance to drop. That high level of cortisol has been shown to increase the body’s retention of belly fat.”
Her advice to those people is to “slow down on your runs and truly go easy often.” You’ll feel better and be suddenly shedding the weight that you accumulated while overdoing it.
10. You’re Having a Few Cocktails
Fact: Alcohol is a major weight-loss no-no. “Those two or three cocktails can add 600, 700, 800 calories or more to the caloric totals of the day,” says Haris Bacic, co-founder of the menu tracker Pricelisto. “Those will wind up being reflected on the scale.”
11. You Eat Too Many Protein Bars
“One common way that many people slowly gain weight overtime is through an exercise boosting supplement: protein bars,” says Ashlee Van Buskirk, BS, founder of fitness and nutrition coaching business WholeIntent. “Yes, it’s true that most protein bars are packed with a healthy dose of protein which can help build muscle mass and strengthen your entire body following a workout. However, most protein bars actually contain a lot of calories. Some can range from 200-250 calories per bar! That amount of calories just isn’t right for a small snack. Protein bars can still be a part of your exercise routine and dieting strategy, but just remember: everything in moderation. You don’t really need to have a protein bar every day or after every workout.”
12. You Dine With Platters on the Table, Thanksgiving-Style
One of the easiest ways to avoid over-eating is to make it slightly more difficult to actually reach your food. Conversely, one of the sneakiest ways to overeat is to simply have the entire smorgasbord in front of you all along.
“Putting platters on the table is one way you’re guaranteeing that you’re going to eat more than you want to,” says health and food journalist Ruth Houston. “This will only encourage and facilitate a second and third helping. Instead, always plate your food in the kitchen, restaurant-style.”