If you’re single you already know: it’s rough out there in today’s dating market. For one thing, dating apps provide an endless stream of potential partners to choose from, which research shows only makes the selection and matching process harder. On top of this, you’re contending with more timeless dating woes including questionable chemistry, mysterious motives, and baggage on both sides. Given that many men also report feeling generally mystified by what women want in a partner, it’s a wonder anyone gets together in the end.
Thankfully, a new study has shed some light on the question of what women want, and demystifying it may just help some people couple up. The study, published in Science Advances analyzed data from online dating exchanges and determined that in the hierarchy of desirable qualities, being highly educated was considered the most attractive quality in men.
“Desirability is associated with education most strongly for men, for whom more education is always more desirable,” the researchers explained. Those with higher degrees had higher message rates from online daters, and tended to interact more with women who were themselves considered “highly desirable.”
That said, if you don’t happen to hold a degree, don’t despair: there are several more subjective qualities which women tend to rank as highly important in a potential partner, but are less likely to be included in this type of ranking. This means you may very well attract a partner with your wit, charm, or warmth—especially IRL, where she can get to know the person behind the profile.
If there’s one thing research shows women really want in a partner, it’s kindness. In fact, one international survey that polled over 14,000 people across 45 countries found that this was considered the single most important quality in a potential mate.
Intelligence and education are often intertwined, but they’re not the same thing—and research shows that many women value intelligence in a man regardless of whether there’s a degree to confer it. There are plenty of bright and curious people without top tier degrees, so be sure to share your other passions and accomplishments with pride.
You can’t exactly put your generosity in your online dating profile, but if you demonstrate this desirable quality in person, research shows that women will notice. An August study from Indiana University found that this tends to create a “halo effect” that increases a man’s overall attractiveness.
While cockiness is likely to ultimately put women off, demonstrating confidence helps others buy in and see you through a rosier lens. Show off your best qualities while also taking ownership for your quirks or shortcomings—or in other words, just be yourself. Do that, and your odds of finding the right fit should multiply.
Article by Lauren Gray