200 (Not Boring) Questions To Ask To Get To Know Someone Better Pt 3

Turning small talk into real talk.


Part 3 of “Questions” starts with digging deeper into someone’s values.

“In learning about someone’s values, you are learning about their owner’s manual,” Hendrix explains. Even seemingly mundane questions can get at a person’s values—like what’s motivating them to do well on a presentation or what they look for in an S.O.

“By learning about someone’s life philosophy, you’re able to get at their true essence, how they live their life, and what drives their actions,” Orbuch adds.

That said, you can’t just ask, “What are your values.” What you can ask:

121. What’s a relationship deal breaker for you?

122. If you had only one sense (hearing, touch, sight, etc.), which would you want?

123. What is your definition of success?

124. Are you at all religious or spiritual?

125. What are you most proud of in the last year?

126. What makes you feel most accomplished?

127. Who do you admire most in the world?

128. If you won a million dollars, what would you do with the money?

129. Which of your personality traits are you most proud of?

130. What’s the first thing you look for in a partner and/or friend?

131. How did you form your current political views?

132. Do you live by any piece of advice or motto?

133. How can someone earn your trust?

134. How can someone lose your trust?

135. Would you rather someone be honest and hurt your feelings or lie to protect them?

136. If you could snap your fingers and instantly make the world better, what would you do?

137. Do you believe in astrology? Why or why not?

138. Have you ever lost a friend? If so, what happened?

139. If you could only teach one thing to your (future) child, what would it be?

140. What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever done, and why did you do it?

141. Do you believe in second chances?

142. Where do you get your news?

143. What is your biggest irrational fear?

144. Do you contribute to any charities?

145. When was the last time you volunteered?

144. Are you an organ donor?

145. Do you believe you should do one thing a day that scares you?

146. What, if anything, do you think happens after death?

147. What line should someone never cross with you?

148. How do you define beauty?

149. Do you believe in life on other planets?

150. How do you interact with someone who disagrees with you?

As promised:


“These questions get at what the person is motivated by,” says Orbuch. “What gives them the strength to wake up every day and get going? What do they dream and think about in their day?” When you learn about someone’s dreams, you share something more intimate. Jumpstart a deep conversation by asking this:

151. If you could do anything, besides what you’re doing now, what would you do?

152. What do you regret not doing in the last year?

153. What’s on your bucket list?

154. If you had unlimited money to start your own business, what would it be?

155. If you found out today was your last day on Earth, what would you do?

156. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

157. A genie gives you three wishes—what are they?

158. If you had the opportunity to be immortal, would you take it?

158. Which famous person in history would you want to spend the day with?

157. If you could time travel, when and where would you go?

158. Do you think you’ll likely accomplish all your dreams?

159. If you could magically become famous, would you want to?

160. If you could relive one moment in your life, which would it be?

Last, we have:

Unconventional questions

Sometimes the oddball questions allow you to learn the most interesting things about a person. “Unusual questions allow you to see the varied, unique, and special qualities of a person—their answers give you personal information about what makes them tick,” Orbuch says. “These questions also typically get the other person to think outside box and really ponder something.” Ask these ~unconventional~ questions, and you’ll definitely get some surprising answers:

161. If you see a puddle on the ground, do you walk around it or over it?

162. If you could have a super power, what would it be?

163. If you could go back to anytime in history, where would you go?

164. If you came back in your next life as an animal, what animal would you be?

165. If you got to name a new country, how would you decide what to call it?

166. What would be the title of your memoir?

167. Do you hit the snooze button or wake up immediately?

168. What’s the first thing you do in the morning?

169. What’s the last thing you do at night?

170. Do you believe in any conspiracy theories (no judgement)?

171. Do you think iced coffee should only be consumed in the summer or all year round?

172. Would you rather be covered in fur or covered in scales?

173. What’s your idea of a perfect date (yes, of the calendar year)?

174. What’s the most unusual place you’ve fallen asleep?

175. At a party, where can someone find you?

176. Do you wash your legs in the shower?

177. Who would play you in the movie of your life?

178. When making a PB&J sandwich, do you put on the peanut butter or jelly first?

179. Do you have any allergies?

180. Do you trust your own memory? Why or why not?

181. Which fictional character do you relate to most?

182. What, if anything, would make you walk out in the middle of a movie?

183. When was the last time you cried and why?

184. What’s your most controversial opinion?

185. Do you “stan” any celebrities?

186. What’s your go-to drunk snack?

187. What was your all-time favorite Halloween costume?

188. What’s the weirdest thing you do when you’re alone?

189. Do you have any recurring dreams?

190. What’s the silliest argument you’ve ever been in?

191. What’s the worst argument you’ve ever been in?

192. What’s your opinion on modern art?

193. If you could choose how to die, would you? If so, what would you choose?

194. What’s the most ridiculous outfit you’ve ever worn?

195. What was the first thing you wanted to be when you grew up?

196. If you could own a mythical creature (unicorn, phoenix, etc.), which one would you pick?

197. What’s your least favorite place in the world?

198. Would you rather have your dishes or clothes be magically clean?

199. What’s your favorite story about yourself?

200. If you could change anything about yourself, would you? If so, what and why?

“Anytime you reveal personal information to someone else, it increases intimacy between you and the other person,” says Orbuch. So let down your guard, and don’t be afraid to ask (or answer!) these deep questions.

So, there you have it, 200 questions to ask someone to get to know him/her better.  

Macaela Mackenzie is a freelance journalist specializing in health, culture, and tech, and she regularly contributes to outlets like Prevention, Women’s Health, Shape, Allure, Men’s Health, the John Hopkins Health Review, and more.
Lindsay Geller is the Associate Love & Lifestyle Editor at Women’s Health.



Writing Dark Poetry

Writing Dark Poetry

Often poetry is bright. It’s a warm morning curled up in bed, or a piece of pie shared between two kids who normally fight nonstop. It’s a celebration of our bodies, or a glorification of the fleeting minutes in our lives. Poetry seems dedicated to the greatness of life, the depth of life.

Life’s not always great. Sometimes, life is horrible, dark, unhappy, depressed. That’s where Dark Poetry comes into play.

I love Dark Poetry, because I love honest poetry. I love a real moment, shared with someone else. And when you think about it, a dark poem is a quite intimate thing. It’s one thing to share your great, bright moments with others. That’s something we do all the time. Social media is full of the bright moments. The birthdays and big wins. The bright new lipsticks and after gym pics.

We don’t share the loses. The nights sitting in the emergency room, waiting for any kind of news. The bad test results. The failures.

It’s the lump your mother found and didn’t want to tell anyone about.

It’s the bottles of vodka vanishing faster and faster.

It’s a trip to the casino. Then another, then another.

It’s a bruise on your friend’s collar bone that she doesn’t want to talk about.

It’s a dog that’s getting older.

It’s a phone call to your wife that was sent to voice mail.

It’s the bills with red letters.

A dark poem is that thing you don’t talk about, don’t think about, don’t act on. Until it acts on you.

Don’t be afraid to write dark poetry. Because art is honest, before everything else. We, as authors of poetry or prose, need to be honest too.


80 Common English Phrases

By Adriana (There’s also a video pronunciation guide on her website below)

In this English Vocabulary lesson, you will learn 80 common English Phrases.  You will learn common phrases to ask how someone is, express how are you are, how to invite someone here, how to respond to situations… among other situations so that you can improve your English Vocabulary and use these common English phrases when speaking in English.

The common 80 English Phrases have been divided into a 18 topics, to better help you remember them and use them in the appropriate situation when expressing yourself in English. Here we go:

Common phrases to ask how someone is:

  • What’s up?
  • What’s new?
  • What have you been up to lately?
  • How’s it going?
  • How are things?
  • How’s life?

Common phrases to say how you are:

  • I’m fine, thanks. How about you?
  • Pretty good.
  • Same as always
  • Not so great.
  • Could be better
  • cant complain

Common phrases to say thank you:

  • I really appreciate it.
  • I’m really grateful
  • That’s so kind of you.
  • I owe you one. (this means you want/need to do a favor for the other person in the future)

Common phrases to respond to thank you:

  • No problem.
  • No worries
  • Don’t mention it.
  • My pleasure.
  • Anytime.

Common phrases to end a conversation politely:

  • It was nice chatting with you.
  • Anyway, I should get going.

Common phrases to ask for information:

  • Do you have any idea…?
  • Would you happen to know…? (when you’re not sure if the other person has the information.)
  • I don’t suppose you (would) know…? (when you’re not sure if the other person has the information.)

Common phrases to say I don’t know:

  • I have no idea/clue.
  • I can’t help you there.
  • (informal) Beats me.
  • I’m not really sure.
  • I’ve been wondering that, too.

Common phrases for not having an opinion:

  • I’ve never given it much thought.
  • I don’t have strong feelings either way.
  • It doesn’t make any difference to me.
  • I have no opinion on the matter.

Common phrases for agreeing:

  • Exactly.
  • Absolutely.
  • That’s so true.
  • That’s for sure.
  • I agree 100%
  • I couldn’t agree with you more.
  • (informal) Tell me about it! / You’re telling me!
  • (informal) I’ll say!
  • I suppose so. (use this phrase for weak agreement – you agree, but reluctantly)

Common phrases for disagreeing:

  • I’m not so sure about that.
  • That’s not how I see it.
  • Not necessarily

Common phrases to respond to great news:

  • That’s great!
  • How wonderful!
  • Awesome!

Common phrases to respond to bad news:

  • Oh no…
  • That’s terrible.
  • Poor you. (Use this to respond to bad situations that are not too serious)
  • I’m so sorry to hear that.

Common phrases to invite someone somewhere:

  • Are you free… [Saturday night?]
  • Are you doing anything… [Saturday night?]
  • . (informal) Do you wanna… [see a movie?]
  • (formal)Would you like to… [join me for dinner?]

Common phrases for food:

  • I’m starving! (= I’m very hungry)
  • Let’s grab a bite to eat.
  • How about eating out tonight? (eat out = eat at a restaurant)
  • I’ll have… (use this phrase for ordering in a restaurant)

Common phrases for price:

  • It cost a fortune.
  • It cost an arm and a leg.
  • That’s a rip-off. (= overpriced; far more expensive than it should be)
  • That’s a bit pricey.
  • That’s quite reasonable. (= it’s a good price)
  • That’s a good deal. (= a good value for the amount of money)
  • It was a real bargain.
  • It was dirt cheap. (= extremely inexpensive)

Common phrases for weather:

  • It’s a little chilly.
  • It’s freezing. (= extremely cold)
  • Make sure to bundle up. (bundle up = put on warm clothes for protection against the cold)

Common phrases for hot weather:

  • It’s absolutely boiling! (boiling = extremely hot)
  • it scorching hot outside

Common phrases for being tired:

  • I’m exhausted.
  • I’m dead tired.
  • I’m beat
  • I can hardly keep my eyes open
  • I’m gonna hit the sack. (hit the sack = go to bed)


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